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I realized something while driving down the highway today. Actually I realized part of it a long time ago. I was cruising along, when suddenly traffic came to a stop. Then it took off again just a few feet ahead. The reason for the stop was the there was a point where people in cars could suddenly see all of the cars in front of them. The highway is kind of level for most of the trip to SF, but there are 3 places where it isn't. During the level spots, one can really only see a few cars ahead of oneself. But during these 3 places, one gets a sudden view of all of the cars in front of them, most of them with brake lights on, so people tend to hit theirs as well which leads to the traffic jams at these 3 spots. Kind of why horses wear blinders, I would guess.

That part I realized a while ago, the reason for the stoppage at certain places. What I reasoned today was: the ability to see further down the road and put on ones brakes because one can see the danger of other stopped vehicles ahead, can be apply to life. Those people who can see further into the future, discern events that might happen, are more than likely to hit the brakes in their own lives to avoid the future possible danger. Those who can see more possible futures also see more possible problems.

So, the complete idiot is happy, because he sees no future danger. The "smarter" one is the more one could see into the future and therefore also has the greater the possibility of being paralyzed by it. Those who see more might panic at things most people do not see coming. Better foresight might not actually be a blessing!

The Edward

Who's paying for this...

Many years ago (back in 1990) (I guess I could have just started with "Back in 1990" instead of stating generic time frame then feeling the need to clarify how long ago, but I just I figure things in parenthesis can be skipped and the original will still make sense. So you can skip this overly long explanation and get back to the topic at hand. Wait, are you still reading this? Hmmm... now what... Maybe I can stop you if I push this button) I came up with this belief, and like all beliefs that I make up, I believed it and started telling people that it was something I believed. (And they all called me crazy, until...) I believed that this Universe and all that was in it was just one giant video game. (the The Matrix came out in 1999.) (See on those last two parenthesized comments, I did a continue. I believe that is the first time in my life that I did that. Glad to share this moment with you.) Not only that, I figured out the rules - I believed I was playing until I ran out of quarters back in the Real World. So, I believed I must be really rich, therefore immortal in this world (are at least hoped). As long as my "real" self keeps feeding in quarters into the machine, I am okay.

Then it struck me, I do not do much. I didn't travel much. I didn't look around much. I mostly stayed in and read and when I did go out, I would tend to look at the ground. What a waste of processing power! If someone went through all of the trouble to create this world for me to play in, I should look around! More than that, when I had bad days, I figured that I wanted to screw them (the people with the game machine in which I lived), so I would look at objects as far away that I could see, and everything else in-between. (because, like in a PC game, the more one looks around in the a game, the harder it is on the PC to calculate everything on screen. If one buys Doom and looks at the ground, the computer is almost idle. But, looking around, spinning around, running around, etc, it can really tax a computer, sometimes overheating it. I figured the Universe was the same way.) This started my "travel as much as I could" phase.

At some point, I realized that maybe the price isn't fixed. Maybe they are charging me by the bandwidth (how much processing power I use)! Maybe my "real" self will run out of money sooner if I waste the power on looking around too much. Then began my "shut in" phase. If I never left my house, I could like a lot longer!

Just recently, I realized that I might be on a plan like cellphone companies offer. I'm paying a fixed rate for some large amount of Universe processing, and pay a premium for anything over that. So, I need a balance - use my allocated time, but try not to go over. Look around, do things, don't be a shut in, but don't waste my time looking at things solely to waste time. With time being the coin I pay.

The Edward

Shiny Toy Guns

Well, I have a bunch of other blogs in the works - ideas that need to be written about, but I thought I would share this interesting song I had heard the other day. I'm not one to watch MTV or any of the many other video channels that I get, but I happened to catch the title of one of the shows on IMF: World's Best Videos. The name sounded so arrogant, I had to check it out so that I could scoff at their lame videos that they had the gall to call the world's best! Posers.

To my surprise, I actually enjoyed quite a few of the videos that they featured from around the world! I hadn't really enjoyed a music video in years, so it was kind of refreshing. Besides the Lady Sovereign video, I really like one call Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns. They have 2 videos for this song on video.google.com. Very impressive videos.

The problem I have is one that has haunted me since MTV - once I see a cool/weird video, I can not get that song out of my head. The images seer the music into my mind. Listening to the music doesn't do it for me - I need to see the video again in order to get it out. In the olden days, it would require many hours of fast-forwarding through hours and hours of MTV crap. But now with the internet, I was able to find the video and watch it again! So, I now only have a small part of the song running through my head! But it will never be as bad as "Why Can't I be You" by The Cure, nothing will. It took months for those jackasses to play that song again.

If you find the video and watch it, let me know what you think! (The standard one was cool, but Version 2 was the one I saw on TV, which was also very cool.)

The Edward

PS Besides the ones mentioned above, to which the videos exist online, I also liked a song by Babul Supriyo called Pyar Hua Hai Pehli Baar. Not my normal type of music, it was kind of snappy an upbeat. I haven't found the video online, maybe you will have better luck.

And of course the songs by Deathklok!

I Believe!

Since I have purchased a few books on amazon that they consider to be "Self help", when I go there now they seem to recommend quite a few more for me to buy. This got me to thinking: there must be a rather large selection of these types of books in order for them to show up with that frequency - and there are. So I looked at a few of the titles to see what the authors were writing about. Pretty much all the same topics, but all taking a different approach to that topic. The topic: you can do it. That is pretty much all that they say. If that was the point of this blog post, it would be kind of boring, so on to the actual topic.

Looking at all of the various methods that authors claim will unlock the limitless power within you, I saw a pattern. That pattern was that there was no pattern. Each author had such a widely different point of view, it is hard to imagine that they all came from the same research. That was the realization, there was no research. All of the books are full of anecdotal evidence! And a lot of it contradictory. Yet, if the claims are to believed, each of these methods worked for at least one person...

So, this takes me back to a topic I have hinted at before: no one is born with a book of knowledge in his or her hands. The only information one had about the nature of the Universe is from what others tell you. The question that popped into my mind: why is what any one author telling equal to The Truth? I have the answer: it isn't. Each truth is true for the person who tells it. Some people pray and get windfalls of money, yet that doesn't work for others. Some people think that if they wear their lucky underwear, then they will get lucky in some way, and they do, while others don't.

What is the defining characteristics of all of these things? That the person believes in his or her system. Sure, the system doesn't always work, but it seems to work sometimes. But, if a person has no believe in a system, nothing ever works. People seem to need a system in which to believe, and there are a lot of people trying to sell you theirs.

The overall thing that I realized is that I can create my own! Sure, I could read "Think and Grow Rich", but there is no real content in that book. Instead, I should believe that I already know the answer to my problems, then just follow this made up advice. I can say "If I eat nothing but bacon and eggs with chocolate cream pie for dessert every day, I can live forever!" I could! But I would be wrong, but not for the seemingly obvious reason, but because I actually got that from a book called "Money is my Friend." Someone actually believes that, and it is something that seems to be so at odds with what most people believe. And yet it might work for him.

So, what I am saying is that there really is no belief too "whacky"! You can make up anyone you want, and as long as you can make yourself truly believe it, it will be the reason you succeed in your goals. So, go ahead, pick something wild, I guarantee it will make your dreams come true!

The Edward

Friend's Sister

Throughout my time on this planet, I have made many friends. A lot of these friends seem to have sisters (or a close woman friend), but not just sisters, single sisters. While it is true that I do not like people in general (actually, I tend to really hate people when I first meet them, but I'm good at covering it when I want to), I found that I actually enjoyed meeting a few friend's sisters. I always thought that very odd, since I really do mean it when I say, I just can not stand to be around most people. So, to find someone that I am interested in being around is very rare. And to have someone in common with this single woman, even rarer.

The issue happens when I actually like this sister person. What do I do? If she doesn't like me and I ask her out, then I run the risk of ruining a friendship. Yet, if I do not ask her, I run the risk of never knowing if she is interested and missing out on a woman I know I at least enjoy spending time with, possibly more. So, many years ago, I struck upon this novel idea: I would ask my friend! He/She could then tell me if his or her sister said anything at all about me after meeting me, then I would take action from there, since I wouldn't want to leave my actual chance at hitting it off in someone else's hands. Seemed like a great plan! But, I found it not to work for me. :(

It seems that when I say "So, did your sister say anything about me." The universal answer is "No." :( So, I usually follow that up with "Can you ask if she had any opinion about me?" I have a brother, and if anyone ever had said to me "Say, is your brother interested in me, or had any thoughts whatsoever about me, could you tell me?" I would immediately ask him what he thought. You know, help out a friend and my brother. But, it seems that the answer to my second questions was also a universal "No." Shocking. So, now I am left with no knowledge, and no easy way to find out, or contact this sister in question.

In thinking about it over the years, and seeing it happening to me 2 or 3 times, I believe I understand the problem. Firstly, even though my friends know my general lack of interest in people in general, they somehow seem to believe that I am solely interested in their sister because I am interested in all women and she is a women, and that is all that matters to me. Since I do not believe I send that message, it must be that they have been asked all of their lives about their sister, so I just get mapped into that category, rather than being amazed at that I was actually really interested in her.

Secondly, if when the sister and my friend went back home after dinner, and my friend said "Edward was there for dinner" or some simple sentence like that, if she didn't excuse herself, jump up and run to the bathroom to pleasure herself with the shower-head while screaming my name for an hour, my friend would think there was no interest on her part. My friend's thoughts, in my mind, run like this "Wow, she only used the water pick, not the full on shower-head, so she obviously has no interest. No use actually asking her what she thought, since there is no obvious interest. Probably only disdain since her shouts only woke up one neighbor rather than two or more. Sad, really, they seemed to get along so well at dinner." And that is the end of it, and I just hear the "No, I would rather not take the 5 seconds it would take to ask her "What did you think of Edward?""

So, if you are reading this, and are a single sister of a friend and have met me, but thought, "Wow, my brother/sister never said anything about Edward, he must not have enjoyed dinner enough to even mention me to his friend! I'll just never bring it up, since there was obvious no interest." you might be wrong. Very wrong.

The Edward

Dance of Power

I used to read a lot of self-help books, books that claimed to know how the mind works (and tastes) therefore leading to the author's pet theory on how to improve ones mental abilities (and taste). A claim that spanned a few books, one that has stayed with me throughout the years, was: there are 3 ways that people think: kinesthetically, verbally, and visually. Everyone has a dominate way of thinking, which defines ones personality (though all are used by everyone, just to varying degrees). Verbals are talkers and use sentences like "I hear what you are saying." Visuals says "I see your point." Kinesthetics say "I feel that you are right." And each maps to a body type, food preference, etc. Becoming aware of this allows one to understand why communicate fails or succeeds and teaches one how to talk to the various types effectively.

That is all of the lead up to the topic at hand: the dance of power. For me, since I have spent a lot of time thinking about this, I try out different ways of thinking about something to see which works best. If I need to remember a phone number, I found kinesthetically works best for me, etc. I also found that certain ideas naturally map to certain types of thinking as well.

A long time ago in my past, I wanted to think about what it would be like to be a powerful person. Not in human terms, but in the super-hero terms. What would it feel like to have superpowers? When this question used to come up in the past (which it did to a surprising amount), I did not have a verbal or visual, but a sense of motion. I would feel a dancer in my mind, the way a person with power would move rather than how one would look.

So, I have this dancer in my mind, but not in a visual way, in a movement way, and I can feel what it would be like to have superpowers. I often wondered if I could move my muscles in the way that I feel in my mind, would I gain the powers that map to those muscle movements? Could I realize that Dance of Power in this world?

The Edward

My view of my world

So, I haven't been posting in a while because of somethings in my personal life, and since the nature of this blog is not Edward's Personal Life Exposed to the Masses, I will probably not talk about it here. Actually, I probably will, since it is part of my Arcane view of your world.

One the problems that has been troubling me has been my blog posts and the comments I get. I enjoying writing, and I enjoy reading what others have to say, and I look forward to reading comments. Fun times all around. The issue is with my view. I began to realize that my view of the word is very skewed from what most people's view is. Well, "began to realize" is kind of wrong, since I actually did know that before I start this whole thing. It is more like, I started to realize that either I am insane or the world is.

When I started this, I was of the opinion, as I had been all of the previous years of my life, that the world is insane and that I was one of the few sane people. Sure, people who know me well would always scoff at this, but I kept to my belief. The recent turn of events followed the research about Mirror cells and how a lack of them in humans make humans not fit in. People with this lack will not see the human world for what it is and seem like people trapped in an alien world, a world in which they understand nothing of the natives and vice versa. This is how I always felt. Even the simplest of human interacts seems to elude me - I actually have to think about how to react. (Though, after many, many years of observation, I believe I pass reasonably well for a normal human (I can hear you scoffing...))

This started bothering me so much, that I stopped my internal dialog that I used to generate my blog posts. And I had some really interesting ones in the works - sister fucking was at the top of the list. (not one's own sister, but the idea of a friend dating a friend's sister) It was going to be very funny and yet insightful - I'll still do that along with the rest of the topics I had in mind, soon. I believe I finally came to grips with the issue - by human standards, I am insane, since sanity isn't an absolute but a judgement of how well a member of society matches the beliefs of the whole of society. If almost everyone believes something to be true, and there is one lone voice speaking out, that voice holder should be locked up - at least that is how it seems to work with humans (which is why I usually keep most of my ideas to myself). In the land of the blind, a one eyed man is not a king, but a madman!

To the point! My point is: my views by definition are that of a madman. So, what is the point of my continued postings? Well, to continue to explore the ideas in my mind in a way that is separate from my real life. Hence, I continue with the blog, even if it seems to me that I am beating a dead horse some times. And liking it.

So, I hope you enjoy my point of view and musings. I hope it makes you think of something different. (Yes, I know, I can not make anyone do anything, it is just a figure of speech! :) And at least for me, it is an affirmation of my Arcane View of your World.

The Edward

So far behind

I think about this blog every day. Throughout the day, I think "Wow, this would make an interesting blog entry! Now, how can I word it for maximum effect! And get the idea across that I am trying to get across with the least number of words and the clearest writing and not repeating and not using run-ons and get the idea across, and stuff!" It is usually at this last part that I stumble, and therefore do not end up writing anything. Which was the reason I created this blog in the first place, to convert the masses to my way of thinking! No, actually, to build up my ability to effectively convey a message to the masses so that I can influence their thinking in order to convert every to my way of thinking! Wait, how did I end up there again...

Okay, I wanted to work on my comedy skills, so that I could be a stand up comedian! Or write for such crack shows like Saturday Night Live or MadTV! And I wanted to start my own philosophy, one that was based on my world view, which I stole from many other people. And cash in writing books on this One World View, books that will get me lots of chicks and stuff. And stuff...

But then something wonderful happens - I spend so much time thinking about the right words that I never actually write any of them down. I spend all day obsessing over it, and never quite getting it right. Sure, I think of what I believe to be a few funny phrases to toss into the blog, but being able to put them all together in not only a coherent way, but also an interesting yet entertaining way. I want people who read them to find it worth their time. As well as find it funny to my future self, since I tend to reread my blog in the future rather than in the past.

Then, the Behind part kicks in. I get so far behind that I do not want to think about it again, so I avoid it. Same for most things in life - once I am behind, I want to walk away. Like trying to read a book for a book report. The closer to the date that it is due and I still hadn't read page one, the more and more annoying it became, because there really was no way to catch up, so I would just not do it. Just let it eat at me from the inside, like a giant... big something that eats things from the inside out.

But here I am again, writing in my blog, sharing my thoughts. Though this blog entry caught me by surprise, because it really wasn't a topic I was planning on writing on. Sure, I could say I was going to write about pussy, since I hadn't in a while, but I wasn't. Something about social contracts and the rich - kind of boring actually. Though I did think of an exciting one yesterday, but can not recall it right now.

I plan to keep it up going forward. I hope to see you here!

The Edward

Porn is cheating

Some people (let's call them women) believe that watching porn is the same thing as cheating (though, if you have read my earlier posts on cheating, one can easily see that one is not having sex as long as one wears a condom or some barrier between the two or more parties involved).

There was an interesting article in this months Scientific American: Mirror Cells in the Brain. Basically, they found that when primates do something (like lifting a block) certain neurons in the brain fire. They also found that when a primate watches another primate do that same thing, those same cells fire. As far as that part of the brain is concerned, watching someone do something is that same thing as doing it. They of course didn't make the connection to porn, so that is where I come in.

Watching pornos has the same affect in the same regions of the brain as if you are actually the one engaged in these acts. So, you are in essence, having sex. Which some consider cheating. Seems like an obvious conclusion. But wait, there's more...

These neurons do not fire in people with autism when watching others, which is what they believe might be the source of autism. These mirror cells allow us to empathize with our fellow humans. We feel other people's pain. We can understand what people are going through, because we feel it ourselves. Except for people with autism - they live in a world where they do not understand why others do what they do, because they can not put themselves in the other person's place. Trapped in their own world. Though, name me a human who isn't.

And all of this ties together! By watching people have sex, you understand sex better, you build up that sexual empathy. So, go get a better understanding of the people around you, watch a porno.

The Edward

PS Okay, so I didn't tie autism into my conclusion, so here is an alternate one: I've watched adult movies with friends before. I always found it fascinating to watch, because I always felt that I was missing out on something, and now I know - I wasn't developing that empathy. To me, it was just something interesting to see, but I now realize why some people have issue with this, because to them they can not separate out the reality of watching something from the reality of actually doing something. Watching a porno, they are feeling like they are there, which was something I had never considered. Same with going to Good Vibrations, the act of holding a dildo and seeing pictures probably was triggering mirror cells. It definitely shines a whole new light on some of my memories of events and things people have said!

Family, religion, friends

Family, religion, friends.. these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. -- Mr. Burns

A simply fabulous quote. It starts off in a manner that lulls one into a sense of security, which then turns out to be false as the rug is verbally ripped out from under one. These things that most people value and are associated with positive feelings turn out to be a hindrance for the true objective of this world, success in business.

Actually, I think it is interesting and funny, because the quote shows what it assumes the audience will consider to be the most important things in the world to them. If the quote was targeted at me: Food, science, pussy...

The assumption that there would be three things one could name that would get the largest possible group of people to agree with is the interesting part. It also shows the underlying assumption that to succeed in business one has to become a monster, shunning things most people consider to be an important part of being human.

Everyone has their own demons to slay, something holding them back from the success that they feel they would have had if it weren't for the items on their list. Are they really things that matter to you, or just what other people tell you that you should believe in or they will consider you a monster? Why not be that monster, be who you can be, be who you believe you want to be, no matter what the cost to your safe secure self, the person you have become as the world as lulled you to sleep...

The Edward

Collapsible Universe

We can represent the movement of particles with simple equations. So, if we look at the whole Universe, there is an equation that describes it all, completely (time, space, other dimensions we are not yet aware of, etc). That equations is vastly more complex than simple motion, and the equation itself wouldn't probably fit within this Universe, but it exists.

With an equation in hand, one can create a counter to it - an equation that will cancel out the first. In the case of simple motion, we just create an equation with the opposite velocity, acceleration, etc, such that when added to the first equation, we get nothing. This second equation can be considered to cancel out the first.

In the Real World, we would apply this equation to make it cancel out the first. In the above example, we would actually apply the forces, slugs, impulses, etc to the physical object, giving us a net zero motion.

So, with the equation of this Universe, if we derive our second equation, one that will cancel out the first, we can see a path to the cancellation of this Universe. We could potentially, with this knowledge, collapse this Universe. It wouldn't destroy this Universe, it would just cease to exist, it would be like it never happened. Just gone from all past, present, future, and space.

The question: With only a small part of these two equations, could one cancel out only part of the Universe? Wouldn't this be the Ultimate Weapon? Not just wipe out your enemy, but make it so that the area in which they exist, doesn't exist, and possibly never had existed. Sort of like what the major TV networks do to really good TV shows, shows too good for the masses...

The Edward

The Problem with Black People

Let me tell you a tale, one of a younger The Edward, an The Edward back in college. Back then, I was a different person to be sure, but the one way in which I was very different I will describe to you now: I hated black people. Stupid people, not in touch with their surroundings, very rude, etc, basically one step above chimps. But, that wasn't the problem. The problem is that I didn't like Hispanic people either. Stupid people, not in touch with their surroundings, very rude, etc, basically one step above chimps. And not only that, I hated gay people. Stupid people, not in touch with their surroundings, very rude, etc, basically one step above chimps. Do you see a pattern here? A better summary that one could draw based on my statements: I hated every Human equally. That wasn't the problem either. What is the point/problem with this younger The Edward and his world? The problem with Black People or Any People that classify themselves, is that they classified themselves - and I didn't, they were all just Human to me. Equally Human.

So, I would walk around hating people back then. I lived in an area of a City where it was predominately black people. The problem I had was that groups of people who think of themselves as different for some reason, would think I hated them for the color of their skin, sexual orientation, religion, etc, rather than their Human-ness. If I refused to talk to someone who considered themselves to be black, they would shout racist things at me, believing that I was a racist so therefore it was okay to let out their true racist nature upon me. This tended to cause me a lot of problems back then.

I realized that my internal dislike for people was not only justified, but appeared to have been shared by everyone around me. Sure, these other people weren't original thinkers, they were taking my general hatred and internalizing based on their own preconceived notions. It was kind of annoying for me, because they took my general feelings and trying to make it that I hated them specifically and went out of my way to think about them, rather than that I was just trying to avoid all possible contact with any of them. They took my feelings and twisted them to their own means, and I of course hated them for that as well.

"You and your people..." is a phrase that can get someone in trouble if one is not aware of which group a listening Human considers himself to be a part of. I think it to be pretty obvious, "you" being Human "and your people" being the rest of the Human race. Or "Your kind is always slow in thinking." "You people need to stop being such idiots." "On the planet I hail from, things are done better." See, obvious what I am talking about!

The Edward

PS There was a funny scene on "3rd Rock from the Sun" (which was about aliens living among us) where he kept forgetting that one of his coworkers considered herself to be black and therefore would misconstrue his feelings about humans as feelings about blacks, since that was the World in Which She Lived. So, took a sticky note, wrote Black on it, and put it on her forehead so that he would remember to treat her as a black person rather than as a human. This of course caused problems because of her perspective on what had happened. Some old story, it really is all a matter of perspective...

Nemo me impune lacessit

I used to use that as my email signature. I believe I even had that as my favorite quote in my employee profile at Netscape. Now, they are not just pretty words... actually, they are quite ugly. They really do not roll off of the tongue. Besides that, I no longer can read Latin.

I used to be able to read in over 10 Human Languages (and a few artificial ones, not count the myriad of computer ones), and was able to write in most as well. Speaking was always my trouble, a disconnect between my speech center and visual center. This has made it hard for me to retain any of the language skills I had spent time acquiring. Imagine: "I think I will go to Japan, since I read/write Japanese (Kanji). Excuse me sir, I need to find my hotel, hold on while I write all of this down and show it to you, then you can write down your answer so that why I can understand what you are saying." Not really a winning strategy. And, if one doesn't use it, one loses it. I have stacks of papers and quite a few old text documents on floppies that I wrote, but can not longer read. I started throwing them away when I find them, since they have no use to me now.

This reminds me of something I read a long time ago about The Dark Ages. If one goes to some places in Europe, I hear that they have buildings built back in the Roman/Greek times that are still standing. And people are still living in some of them! Do you know what that means? During The Dark Ages, people lived in these buildings as well. Buildings over a thousand years old. And yet, no one at that time knew how to build such buildings. These people were surrounded many things from past generations, and yet they could never understand them nor recreate them nor repair them. Surrounded by the works of gods from the past.

Can you imagine what that would be like? To see a building or writing or something else, creating so long ago, and yet with all of our "modern technology" we couldn't make something just like it? I can imagine that. Because it is here right now. We call them The Pyramids, and they are even older than the Romans/Greeks and we are more advanced than the people living in The Dark Ages. What does that tell you?

The Edward

99 bottles of post on the wall...

Well, it is official! This is my 99th post on this blog, according to the little counter that it shows me when I log in! 99 long posts. 3*3*11 posts. And yet, being immortal, this is but a small fraction of the posts I am sure to make in the future! (Or, this one in a long way in the past if you are reading this in the future). Speaking of which, I am dedicating this post to The Future! Here's to you, The Future!

As I've stated before, there should be many more people reading these posts in the future, since the posts will exist much longer into the future than they have in the past. Maybe you are someone who just read my millionth post and was wondering how it all began. If so, you still have 98 others before the beginning, friend, so keep on reading! I'll assume that my skills have developed over time, so you are probably reading this saying, "Man alive, he wrote like crap way back then. How did this blog ever survive? Now, he words are as poems glistening on dew soaked leaves in the morning sun, waking souls of all who hear but one word of the days blog. But back then compared to now, it is like having someone scrap a metal file over the inner gum-line of ones teeth while having one pussy reamed with a spiked dildo." (I am assuming all of my way distant readers will be women, though with lines like that, I some how am beginning to doubt that.)

Maybe I should be more cautious in my writings? Maybe time travel will be invented, and millions of offended women will be flying back through time to beat me senseless with Baby Jesus Buttplugs for my writings? It seems as though once something is written in this modern age, it will last forever. So, I am testing this theory out. What until you see my next post, "The Problem with Black People"!

The Edward

PS I thought I would like these Mac-things, but the spell checking method I used on Windows doesn't seem to work well on Macs. I just realized that it wasn't spell checking my posts when I used a Mac. :( And of course, blogger seems to lack this very important feature! Why? They have spell check for website, gmail, text entry fields, etc, but Google thinks blogs shouldn't be spell checked? Bastards.

Childrens Laughter

So, someone was telling me about PenisLand the other day. Actually, they were telling me about PenIsland, a company that makes custom pens. When they registered their name online, they chose penisland.org (which is odd, because penisland.com is a gay porn site (imagine that), so they might have tried it, saw it was taken, then went for .org anyway). It got me to thinking: ChildrensLaughter. Someone with a Palm tried out ChildrenSlaught.com, and found that someone start the site as a place to help children, because there is nothing more beautiful to the ears than the sound of Childrenslaughter. I guess he never really looked at it that way, which is kind of funny. "You can't spell slaughter without laughter," as mom used to always say.

This also led me to two further ones: ChildsCare and of course for Halloween, ChildrenScream. So, the question I planned on answering with a quick program was: how many words in the the English language begin with S but are also words without that S. That way there could be no end to the fun with Childrens! (or Clowns if one is sensitive about the word children)

Sure, this S thing wouldn't catch Penisland, so I wonder is there a more general list of words, two words that when sandwiched together can be split differently to for two different words, with what I hope are very different meanings. ChildrensLaughter had some of us almost rolling on the floor, so there must be a better one out there! And is there an English word for the combining/spliting concept (like anagram is for randomizing)?

The Edward

Wealth Unlimited

Chatting at work today with the topic of the richest people, and idea was formed. If you had 100 Billion Dollars, how would it change your life? One person claimed he would continue to dress the same, which I find hard to believe. With that kind of wealth, you wouldn't even notice the difference between a $1,000 outfit and a $10,000 outfit, much less a $100 outfit. Your time becomes more valuable than the cost of caring about the price of something.

Most people think of the basics - bigger house, faster car, more pussy, cooler watch, etc. But, what most people with untold wealth do not do is dream big. At least, in this country. Seems that they are building an island in the shape of the world over in one of the Gulf countries. Every continent will be there, and able to support 100,000 people living there. They love to flaunt there wealth in some countries, while here we are supposed to act like "old money." For here, I guess Vegas is the closest thing to Big Dreaming, which is one of the reasons I like it so much - it stands as a testament to what people would do with limitless money: a big, gaudy set of buildings in the middle of nowhere. I can not help but smile to myself every time I go there.

But, those things take time, and though they seem to be made of bigger dreams, can we not go further? Why do you need a watch when you can hire someone to follow you around all day and night, ready to tell you the time at you mirest asking. "What's the time?" "The time will be 11:20 pm at the beep, sir... Beep." You could hire a human to be an alarm clock, in case you wake up in the middle of the night and want to know the time. With your kind of wealth, why stumble round looking for a clock, just ask the human alarm clock. Make sure you put a snooze button on him, in case you want to sleep a little longer in the morning. Or made have a large stick by the bedside to give him a good whack. Or whatever you want.

With $100,000,000,000 you could pretty much do whatever you wanted. Well, at least anything that involved another human. You couldn't really break the laws of physics with money, or go to a different solar system, or read all of the books of the world, etc. All the power of that money solely exists in the minds of you and your fellow humans, so anything you would want would have to be human in nature. Which is why I never wanted that kind of power, only real power for me.

So, think over all that you would want, and ask yourself, isn't it just power over other humans?

The Edward

My Solution to yesterdays E-Mystery

Thanks to everyone who tried, and a special thanks to those who posted their answers.  Let's compare!

It is true that I read the original story, so there is a lot more to it than I posted, as Aravind pointed out.  I tried to turn the real story into a mystery, since it seemed to be a mystery to the person who was living it.  With the facts presented in my version, here is what I would say are some of the solutions to the mysteries.

The WoW dude (let's call him Bob, since that makes it easier, and Bob's your uncle) was upset that no one contacted him after he left the game, so he thought that those bastards weren't really his friends after all.  But Bob's Real World friends were still there for him after he left.  Actually, it is Bob who is the bastard.  See, he snubbed his Real World friends and they waited for him.  But, what did he do to this WoW friends?  He isn't playing the game, so his WoW friends are like he used to be (not talking to people in the Real World), and he is now in the role of his Real World friends.  Did Bob say, "I was addicted to the game, but now I am done with it.  And I will wait for my WoW friends until they can leave the addictive game, as my Real World friends waited for me."?  No, he thought of himself, as he did while in the game.  Bob is just a self-centered bastard who didn't realize what he put his Real World friends through, and once he was in the same situation, he didn't recognize it and instead blamed the addicts for his feelings of abandonment.

For the second part:  Bob thought that the WoW world was unlike his Real World.  He had achieved much in WoW, but was he happy?  No.  He wanted it to be all fun and games, he wanted the riches without the work that goes along with them.  He didn't make the connection that the Wow world and his Real World are very similar - the WoW world is just a sped up version.  In the Real World, someone can work very hard and rise to the top, like he did in WoW.  But, it is hard work, takes a lot of time to get there, and a lot of time to maintain it.  He just wanted the playboy lifestyle, the cool parts that they show on TV, not all of the actual behind the scenes stuff that goes along with that success.  He seems to think that his life will be more rewarding in the Real World, when there really isn't one.  What are dollars, but other people ideas of wealth?  How can you "own" land in the Real World any more than in a virtual one?  It is all group consensus.  If all of the people vanished from both of the worlds, he would see that they are both the same, WoW mirrors life, because it is populated by Humans and designed by Humans to be a mirror.  If the rules of WoW were very far from Reality, the game wouldn't have sucked him in.  With the advanced pacing in WoW, he was able to experience a rise to the top that would take many, many years in the Real World - and he found it not to his liking.  He is no Bill Gates.

So, how did you do?  Based on my understand of what people posted, I would have to say madpuppy got pretty close to my answer for the second part.  Congratulations!

It is still up in the air whether I will do this again, but I believe I had fun with it.

The Edward

E-Mystery Wednesday

Hello and welcome to what I am calling E-Mystery Wednesday. (It bares no relationship to Slambo's Mini Mystery Monday, though I did get the idea from her, so it is more like a tribute rather than an outright theft.) I thought rather than rant about something, I will make it a mystery and see what comes of it. If this works out, I might make it a regular thing... if.

Today's tale begins with a website story someone sent to me about a person who loved to play World of Warcraft. This is a massive online game, with players from all over the world working together to find virtual items in order to make their virtual character better than everyone else's. There are quite a few people who are addicted to these types of games, playing endless hours to the exclusions of all Real World friends, family, and events. Shocking.

The story on the website was about a person who spent the past year, 30+ hours a week playing the game. He gave it up recently, and decided to share his keen insights on why these types of games are so much worse than the Real World. He stopped talking to his friends in the Real World because he had so many friends in WoW. He said that the game was so addictive that it caused him to abandon everyone who didn't play the game. So, he played and played, until he became the top character in his world. People all over the world envied him. His character had the best virtual items in all of the kingdom. Yet, he was unhappy. :( He realized that with great wealth and power comes great responsibility. He was spending 10+ hours a week just maintaining his position of power, helping out those who allied themselves with his group.

So, he quit playing, for some of the reasons already stated - too much time to maintain, not enough having fun. And he was addicted, so he was breaking this horrible addiction. When he left the game world, he started talking to his Real World friends, and they welcomed him back! Yet, when he logged in to close out his account, no one cared. Three days later, it was like he never existed online. He said that was the final and most painful part, since he spend so much time online helping others, making the game more fun for them, and yet no one thanked him while he was playing and no one missed him. But his Real World friends missed him and now they are all together, living happily ever after.

So, where is the mystery in this story? Actually, there are quite a few, but I'll just pick out two. He is upset with his online friends because they were never really his friends, yet he was wrong, why? He left the game because it took too much time "not playing", so he is in the Real World now, yet there is a mystery about his thinking, what is it?

The Edward

A New Holiday

I got to thinking about Holidays the other day. I was invited over to some friends' house for Thanksgiving. But, it wasn't the normal Thanksgiving, it was the Canadian one. I was surprised, I didn't know that they had taken one of our Holidays. But, it was a lot of fun none the less!

The thing that actually got me thinking was more recent - I was at dinner with a large group of Canadians and they were talking about what they did for Thanksgiving, without the Canadian prefix (they implied it). I realized that even though I did Thanksgiving with these friends, it probably didn't have the same meaning to me as it did to them. To me it was just another dinner with friends (although a really good one). I didn't have the holiday feeling as I would for a real Holiday.

Why the difference? If I had invited people over to celebrate a Holiday that they we unaware of, they would enjoy themselves, but it would feel like they were not part of the Holiday Spirit. Was it all of the build up in the mind? Someone else who was non-Canadian asked if there was a story to their Thanksgiving, in-which I believe the answer lies: it is the fable of a Holiday that makes it special to people.

We have Thanksgiving, where we have the fable of the starving Pilgrims and the friendly Indians helping them out. For Christmas we have snowmen, Santa Claus, mangers with baby lords, etc. For birthdays we have cake and candles and tales of aging. So, to create a new holiday, one needs a really good story, one that is told about that day, something that will make that day seem special to those that know about it. Which is why I want to tell you about October 22th, the day John's son saved the world.

Ever wonder about the story of his son and why we wear glow-in-the-dark condoms on this day in his Honor? Well, I will have to save that story for another day... maybe on the Day of John's son...

The Edward

Over analysis

As much as I live in my own mind now, it used to be more (though, I guess...). I used to think that everyone analyzed every detail of every aspect of life. I thought people picked up on subtle word usage to determine hidden meanings. I thought humour derived from subtle meaning shifts in words. I lived in a Monty Python world and thought that the world was the same as my view of it.

But, I now know that to be wrong. People are all trapped in their own little worlds, never having time to really explore others. I used to think people were staring at me, watching me, waiting for me to trip up or something. But, through a strange sequence of events, I came to know the truth - everyone else is doing the same thing. People think others are waiting for them to trip up, so they are watching others to see if anyone notices, etc.

I used to think that the popular kids in school were unapproachable, because they were better in some way. Then one day, I saw through them, and knew that they were just like everyone else - afraid. After that I could talk to anyone of them without the fear of them others had, because I knew they existed solely in the minds of others.

How does that lead to the actual topic? Well, I tell you. Actually, I already have, and that is another aspect to this Realization - people do not spend time looking for hidden meanings, like I do. As I've said more than once, I pepper my writing and speaking with what I really want to say, and I believe that others not only do this themselves but are actively looking for it in others. I think I am being clear in my intentions, but others see it differently. I remember back in school, I wouldn't finish my sentences, because I assumed that once all of the relevant information was out there, the ending was obvious - it took me years to correct this "problem." Now, I believe I over explain. But, do I? I guess if I am still not getting the point across, I must not be, but it seems that I use too many words, doesn't it? Or do I...

The Edward

Superman vs Kill Bill

I hated the Kill Bill movies - over the top action and story, but not in an interesting way for me. After sitting through parts 1 and 2, and feeling the life being sucked out of me the entire time, especially during the climax where all was revealed < shudder >, there was a nugget there. Something I could sink my teeth into. An interesting idea, one that had never occurred to me before.

Bill tells the audience that Superman was who Superman was - Clark Kent was who Superman thought humans were. Other super-heroes were normal people, with normal lives, but who gain super powers some way, then go off and develop an alter-ego that is super. But, Superman was always super and to fit in he had to hide who he really was. So, he created a persona that he thought wouldn't draw any attention to himself. Therefore, Clark Kent was what Superman thought of humans - bumbling, dimwitted, never get the girl, kind of a nebbish.

I was stunned by this idea. Why had this never occurred to me, considering...? I liked this idea, and kept it as my own little secret idea for a few years. I would bring it out anytime I wanted to feel good about myself, and lord it over the Humans around me. Then I stated this blog thing a few months ago, and I started actually analyzing my thoughts through the lenses of philosophies that I used to believe in (General Semantics, etc). The next time I brought out my little pet thought, I realized that like the rest of Kill Bill, it was crap. So, I cast it aside without a so much as a tear.

Clark Kent is not Superman's indictment against humanity, but rather Superman's view of what he thinks humans really are. It is a subtle difference, but a major one. Superman didn't really know what it means to be human, so when he had to create a human persona, he wouldn't be sure how far to go to hide who he was. He had to determine how fast, or strong, or smart he wanted others to believe he was. And since he couldn't get into their minds, he tried his best. Clark Kent is his view of his beliefs, and really says nothing about Humans as a whole, just Superman. Basically, it was a very inaccurate model, since he was biased by his own model.

To summarize: Kill Bill was utter crap to me. Superman was really a jerk who under valued humans. And I need a new pet idea.

The Edward

I knew this Lesbian once...

Stop me if I've said this one before... well, I guess there really is no stopping me, you can only stop yourself from reading more. But, isn't that true for most things? Kind of like "Stop me if it starts to hurt." or "I'll just put the tip in." or "Just let me slip it in for a second." or "Just one finger, then we can stop." Doctors, who can trust them?

So, this lesbian, she worked where I did, a long time ago. Or, should I say we worked together? Am I implying something by my words already? Let's find out. This was back in the day, the days when being a lesbian wasn't the hip, cool thing to be, like it was in the late 90's, early 00's). Quite the opposite, she was afraid of possible repercussions if anyone knew she was a lesbian, so she tried to hide it.

I remember when I first met her, I didn't know there were such people as lesbians (I lived a very sheltered life early on). All she would talk about was men. "Did you see that hunk of man meat walk past? Man, I would love to ride him." "Sorry, I didn't hear what you were saying, I was eyeing up that stud over there." Really, things very close to that. Besides being way over the top, the tone in her voice wasn't very convincing. So, I hope you read the previous lines in monotone with a hint of disgust.

So, what's the point? Well, since she felt no attraction to any of those men, she didn't know a non-lesbian would act in mixed company, so she had to fake it. But, she couldn't ever be convincing, because it was obvious that she lacked the actual desire by how mismatched her words and reactions were. By trying to mask who she was in a world she didn't understand, she overacted, but was unaware that she was doing this. That is why everyone who worked with her actually knew she was a lesbian, but no one had the guts to tell her that.

The Edward

Spank me a new one

Sure, I have some interesting topics, ones I've worked on for a while (though by worked on, I mean "have plagued my thoughts, keeping me awake at night, until I scribble down some of it on scraps of paper that I search for in the middle of the night so that the voice in my head will shut up about it"), but I do not feel like exploring those topics right now. As a matter of fact, when it came time to write down something, the only thing I could think of was the title. No idea where that came from, and no idea what it means. It was just a random set of words that buzzed around until I typed them in the Title area. And all of this, hard to believe it is all unplanned, just like most people's first child. "We were just typing away all night long, and the next thing we knew, she was pregnant. Maybe if we hadn't typed so fast, I wouldn't have spilled white-out all over the inside of the keyboard. We will definitely have to use a glove the next time we type, even though I can not feel the keys with a glove on. Those keys feel oh so good on the tips of my bare naked fingers... Screw it, let's just type bareback and take our chances!"

I just watched this week's South Park. It had its moments. The funniest part, in my opinion, was the The Hardly Boys who were, get this, a parody of The Hardy Boys! They mostly stood around saying "I think I'm getting a clue. Yes, it is a raging clue. It is pointing this way. All this talk is giving me a clue too. This is the hardest clue I've every had. I was getting a clue like every minute. I had so much clue that I almost got clue juice all over John." I never knew the Hardy Boys were so clueful. And of course, it got me thinking, one can use most any word and say it the right way, and people will read sexual innuendo into it. Well, okay, I always knew that, which is why almost all of my posts are like that - I think it to be very funny, because it says to me how much the human world is about sex. Though, that is one of those other Future Posts that have been in my head poking through. (Though, now that I think about it, I have to look through my 91 previous posts to see if I already have one called "I once knew this lesbian.")

Amazing how much one can write without saying anything. The question is: how much can people read without reading anything? Actually, that makes no sense whatsoever. The real question is: Is it better to write random crap than nothing at all? Will Others read random crap, or will they skim once they see the topic, totally missing all of the hidden in-jokes? I already know the answer to that one... maybe I will write about it some day...

The Edward

Death of Single Human Males

Well, I am back from my birthday/road trips! Enough of that world.

I noticed something: society is trying to kill single human males - let's call them "men". The means of doing this? Stress, you might think, but you would be wrong. Lack of pussy? Possibly, but my understanding from married men is that that is a resource that dries up after marriage, who are not single by definition. Well, my friends, as cute as it is to see you guessing such obviously wrong answers, I'll break down and tell you: it is society and fast food.

We have a society that turns a questioning eye to people dining out alone. I've often heard "Your table is ready. Just one for tonight? What, you couldn't even convince someone to eat with meal with you if you paid? Well, I guess we can seat you right here in the middle of the room... at a table, no booth for you!" With this kind of social resistance to eating out alone (which we can all admit is tough to do), what is a man to do? Fast food!

At the local fast food emporium, they are happy to serve up some grub for one person. Go into any one at any time of the day, and one can always find at least one single man there eating, face towards the plate, not looking around. This is socially acceptable. And this is where death comes in - fast food isn't as healthy for one as food at a restaurant. Not even close.

So, we force these single men to eat less healthy food, or else feel unloved and on display in the middle of a crowded place with real food, crying on the inside while pretending to read a fascinating book on the outside. Society is trying to kill them all off! Proof, I tell you, proof! What about preparing food for one's self at home? Come on, look in any cook book - the meal sizes in there are not for one. So, following this path, one is either forced to eat way too much (also unhealthy), or save the food not eaten, then eat this partially spoiled food at some future time (also unhealthy).

What's that you say, what about single human females ("women")? Since they are most often recipients of the aforementioned free meals at nice places, that argument doesn't apply. It isn't socially unacceptable for a single woman to eat at fast food - I do not think I have ever seen one there. And for the last point, they can cook food for themselves, and do not generally seem to mind eating that which was not eaten when the food was fresh.

The Edward

PS I know I was speaking in generalities, and you can probably point to at least one person who doesn't fit the mold. All I can say is: generalities are true, and the person you are pointing at is lying to you. I know these things to be true.

Birthdays

In my religion (Church of Satan), birthdays are the most important day of the year. For without ones birthday, all of the other holidays are meaningless.

I've noticed that others do not share my beliefs, which could either be because they have not hear the good word of Satan and what he can do for them, or some other reason. I'm always happy that people help me celebrate my birthday every year, so I try to do the same for them. But, some people do not consider birthdays special, so it can be awkward: "I emailed all of your friends to arrange a party for your birthday! What, you do not want to be reminded that you are now a year older? You do realize that you are actually only a day older and the party is to celebrate the anniversary of your birth, right? Depressing to be XX years old? But you were that old yesterday (minus a day)." Then everyone sits around gloomy, while the birthday boy/girl struggles to get out of the straight jacket. Not as exciting as someone who is really into birthdays, someone who is willing to blow out the candles, no matter where they have be placed on his/her body.

I consider my birthday to be the start of the New Year. I take time off, I reflect on the past year, I look forward to the coming year, I usually quit my job or make other big changes on my birthday. It is too easy to let time slip away, so having one day be a day of reflection makes sure that years don't pass away unnoticed. Though, noticing them can suck to "Another year alone. Why have I never had a girlfriend on my Birthday? I hear it can be a lot of fun... (sob)."

So, make sure you celebrate your birthday - it is what Satan wants you to do. (at least that is what he told me) And be sure to celebrate with a Black Mass, which usually entails blowing out some candles while in a darkened room. And have your gifts wrapped in paper, so that the demons of this world will not realize that there are goodies inside. And have a steak, which is what I plan to do this Saturday.

The Edward

Dinosaur Meat

I eat meat.  Pretty much nothing else.  Well, grains.  But no vegetables!  Meat is even easier to spell!  And it sounds like something is going on "I'm going to meet someone."  "Yum, meat."  "Let's get to the meat of the matter."  I can not say that I have heard anyone, not even a vegetarian say, "Let's get to the vegetable of the matter."  "He was beating his vegetable all night long."

So, when a friend told me about meat they found preserved in a dinosaur bone in the form of marrow, I was hooked.  I have to know what it tastes like!  Though, I do not know if I want to try the 150 million year old version (aged) or the newer version from the clones that will surely be produced in the near future (fresh).  The aged version would have been made from what the dinosaur ate back then, which would be very different from modern plants, so it will surely have a different taste.

People (rich people) buy dinosaur bones for their own personal museums.  Somewhere out there, there has to be someone with so much money that they will want an exclusive experience, and I think this dinosaur meat could be the key.  I need to find this person, and be sure to get invited to the tasting party.  So, if you know anyone...

The Edward

Pictures of Crimes

I was watching The News the other day - they were showing a high speed chase as it was happening. I thought "Wow, we are seeing a crime, live! I wonder if I should report it to the local police?" I was watching America's Dumbest Criminals a bit ago, and they showed someone robbing a bank, but they took their masks off on the way out, so the video showed their faces. I was tempted to call the police so I could pick them out of a line up.

In the above cases, people would think I was insane if I called the police because I saw a picture of a crime, and I would be. But, if I saw a picture of someone committing a crime of a sexual nature (underage, forced, animal, or some other illegal act), I would be in violation of the law for see, storing, or seeking out such pictures. Why is this true?

If someone is interested in high speed car chases, so he collects every picture of these criminal acts that he could, he would serve no jail time for their possession. Why? Would not the fact that he collects them make other people more likely to commit those crimes? If someone collects pictures of shootings, this is not a crime either. Yet, once again, collecting pictures of sexual crimes is a crime in and of itself, because it encourages others to commit those crimes in some way. (Though, with the internet, if someone post images online of crime, and people download it via usenet, there is no feedback to the commiter of crimes, so it seems that there is no encouragement to commit crimes, therefore no reason to say one has encouraged a crime thereby commiting a crime oneself. If a downloader emails asking for more images, then they are potentially enticing people to commit a crime. (which I do not consider a crime, but human law does for some reason that still eludes me.))

Are not the media profiting from pictures of crimes? Some people plan their crimes to get the maximum media exposure! I believe the news is encouraging crime and bad thinking in general (housing prices, shopping riots, etc). It is solely to entice people, to get an emotional response of outrage, or human interest, or something that will increase their ratings and their profits ("See the shocking footage of a shooting tonight at 11"). I also believe that owning a picture of any crime is as much of a crime as using words to describe a crime - the thoughts are all in your head.

The Edward

PS I also know that people with guns will lock up other people for doing something that those with the gun believe to be wrong, which is why I always obey every letter of the law, no matter how absurd. I've seen people locked up for no reason I believe to be wrong, so it seems that it is better to live with limited freedoms than no freedoms in the land of the free. I mean, what would happen if the only people that were locked up were those that actually commited a crime against someone else? And if people were free to do what they wanted to do until they crossed that line? What kind of country would we have? What would god think if we didn't judge others or try to force others to live as we have chosen to live our own lives?

Plea Bargain

Sorry, my "real" world has impinged upon my Arcane World! Some sort of illness has kept me tired, so no reading other's blogs, no posts on my blog, etc, for the past week. :( What a sad, lonely week. :(

The other thing that happened to me: a person close to me accepted a plea bargain for 10 months. Now, if you have watched any crime drama, you know that the cops pound their fists into the table and say "We had him and now he gets this light and easy plea bargain. Is there no justice in this world?!" Yeah, if only TV mirrored reality (which is why I hate courtroom dramas, medical shows, any kind of drama about which I know a little something).

This person shows up for sentencing. Bargains had been made. 10 months was a very long time, especially with a reasonably new baby in his life. But, he was willing to do it to save the court costs and not risk a longer sentence that a trail might produce. The problem is that a plea bargain is not like on TV. A plea of guilty is what it takes to make a Plea Bargain. And the judge is in no way bound to accept it bargain part of it, just the plea. So, he had a guilty plea, which the judge accepted, but then the judge said he didn't think 10 months was really good enough, so he gave him the maximum sentence, 2-5 years. Wow. That really sucks.

The sentencing happened a good 10 hour drive from his home, so he will probably only see his kid a few times before he gets out. And she will be in school by then, probably. Quite a shocking experience for all that are close to him.

So, I give you these words of warning: do not watch TV or movies, except for comedies and farces. Do not accept a Plea Bargain, because it is no different than going to trail and getting sentenced - you are just pleading guilty and that is all. The bargain is just to give you hope that you will get a lighter sentence because you cooperated. Bullshit.

-Edward

Thinking

I've seen many Taco Bell commercials in my day. (Commercials are those things that used to interrupt our shows, stealing 1/3 of our lives before TiVo allowed us to skip them all.) They asked us to Think Outside the Bun. Kind of a takeoff on Think Outside the Box.

Well, I have a confession to make. I've thought outside the bun all my life. Sure, I've thought about thinking inside of the bun - seen the movies and various websites, and they all do make it seem so interesting, but is it really? I believe that all of those people are actors, so they could just be putting on a show, making it look like a lot more fun that it sounds. That's why I'm glad we have companies like Taco Bell. They are telling it like it is, giving people choices. Let people know it is okay to say "Yeah, I know we've been going out for a long time and I do love you, but I do not think I will ever be happy with thinking inside the bun. Are you okay with that? I am just not a bun thinker."

Maybe if one slips a finger in the bun, rather than a full on thinking... I guess I would have to say "To each their own." Though, if we go back to the original idea, The Box...

I've been in many meetings at many companies, all who want us to Think Outside of the Box. This one is a harder one to comply with (in theory, though in practice...). Sure, I've spent almost all of my life Thinking Outside of the Box, but you know, most days I think I would enjoy Thinking Inside the Box again. Every once in a while, just to keep the memory alive of what it was like. Oh yeah, Thinking Inside of the Box... much more acceptable than Thinking Inside of the Bun.

And of course to make sure we uphold the ideal of thinking outside of the box: a finger in the box is always okay, since we wouldn't be really thinking. I'm off to do a little thinking on my own.

The Edward

Addams

I've always been a fan of Mr. Addams. Sure, I saw the TV show first, then discovered it was based on older cartoons that appeared in Playboy. This of course lead to my fascination with Playboy and naked women, then on to the harder stuff. I guess Addams was a gateway drug to hardcore porn.

Beyond that, there were the movies, then another TV series, etc. Addams legacy lives on! His works show us a glimpse into another world, a world where the rules are different than the "real" world. I must confess, it warped my little mind back then. I try to live the Addams life style. See the world the Addams way. "Seek out the dark forces and join in their hellish crusade."

They are finally releasing the original TV show on DVD next month! Then, I can own all of them... except for the crappy new show which really never got into the Addams spirit.

When I am feeling down in the dumps, I fire up the 2 movies, and they never fail to cheer me up. They have such a positive outlook on life. No matter what others think of them, they live how they want to live. They surround themselves with death and despair, because they realize these things are not real. The Addams Family is a wake up call, to realize that nothing in this world makes sense, so why not create your own sense of reality? And that is what I do.

So, cheers to Mr. Addams and all like him - those who envision a world different than yours and those around you. At least, that is what I am guessing based on movies and TV, since my world is different. My Arcane World.

The Edward

Powers

The Covenant - horrible movie, but an interesting point: if you had been born with specials powers, could do something that no one around you could do, how would you know? How could you develop them? Skills require a long time to develop, more than one human lifespan. So, you can learn to do something more effectively if someone teaches you, just as that person learned and expanded a bit upon the knowledge of someone else. If you are the first with an ability, you need to seek out others with your powers, if any exist. Together, you could discover what you couldn't separately. Kind of like sex: solo vs couple, but with powers!

How would you know if you had powers? If the method of releasing them were complex. What if it required beating yourself with a baseball bat, how would you find out? If it involved slipping a bat inside one of your lower cavities, I've seen pictures, and none of those people look like they had any special powers, except the power to excite others. But there are easier ways for that power to manifest.

How do you think you might become invisible? Or fly? Would you really trust jumping off of a building? How would you know that flying only works off of buildings less than 20 feet high or greater than 30 feet high, and you happen to be on a 25 floor building this time? Or that you become visible again when seeing naked people... scary stuff! (Since I do not believe in inductive reasoning, ever event appears to be unique. Just because I could fly yesterday in no way implies I could fly today. So, how could someone like me ever find or use powers? :(

What kind of powers could or do exist in this world? Sure, we've all seen a man fly, but have we seen a man with the ability to see through women's clothing (or through any material in the Universe except bra and panties)? In comics, mentalists can make people do whatever they want, but maybe in the real world, one can only make people act like chickens or dump you to sleep with your best friend? Then there is The Flash, people with super speed, but what if they lack the lighten quick reflexes needed at those speeds, so they become the next smear on the wall - or so fast in bed that they lead sad lonely lives? So many possible powers, yet I see so few to choice from in literature. I hope the world is more complex when it comes time to discover my real secret powers!

What about side effects of powers? Using them caused a sun somewhere in the universe to go out, or some one on this planet to suffer or die, or it shortened your life? Is it just better to stay with the flock, pretend that you are the same? Or take a chance, try to be someone new, try out your powers, sure it might kill you (or someone else or some far off planet), but it could make you stronger, or allow you to find others like you, or teach you something you could pass along to future people like you. But, how could you find them to pass or get passed info? With a blog!

The Edward

Cheater!

So, this post is tied to the next/previous (depending on the order in which you are reading these). What constitutes cheating? (on a spouse, boy/girlfriend, SO, pet, etc)

I watched some Court TV in my day, so I know a little about divorce. There was often claims of cheating. But, what did they mean by that? It seemed that they always associate cheating with sex. "My husband slept with his secretary. And not only that, they had sex while in bed together!" "My wife was letting the copy boy in the office bang her in the copy room, while he was still making copies!" But, is that all there is to it? If you are with someone, and they had sex with someone else, would you consider yourself cheated on? But, what is sex? Well, as I stated in Technical Virgin, one might consider any act that one wears a condom during to NOT be cheating. But, would you really feel that way? "Dear, I was doing a few of the women in the office the other day, but no need to worry I was wearing a condom the whole time. Because, I would never want to cheat on you!", "I love you too, dear. Thanks for being so considerate." That conversation will probably never happen in anyone's life. But, maybe it should...

But, is sex all that is required for cheating to have occurred? What about kissing? If you found your SO kissing someone else, would you think you have been cheated on? Would that be grounds to end a relationship? Or does it really require sex (whatever that is)? How about hugging? What if they just got naked together? Slipped a finger in the ass? Went to a doctor?

What about just emotional bonding? This is a hot topic these days: Work Spouses. One has a person at work of the sex one is attracted to that they bond and share feelings with. If you share you feelings with someone, things you do not tell your SO, are you cheating on that person? Isn't cheating actually just depriving the person of some part of you, ie to cheat them out of you? So, "sex" with someone is not sharing that experience with your SO. Going to lunches every day with the same people and sharing your problems, isn't that also cheating your SO of that bond?

What am I saying? If you are close to someone you are just as guilty of cheating as if you had sex with that person (with or without a condom)? Yes, that is what I am saying. So, if you are close to someone, you might as well sleep with them as well, since it really is the same: cheating on your spouse, girl/boyfriend, SO, pet, etc.

The Edward

Technical Virgin

What defines a virgin? What defines cheating? If you are not a virgin and want to determine if what you are about to do would be cheating, how about this definition: if you were a virgin, and you did this act, would you still call yourself a virgin? Doesn't the word virgin imply a sexual virgin? (in this case vs in a long ago blog) If so, then anything that would change your state from virgin to non-virgin would be a sexual act, but is the converse true? So, I've been thinking, what is a virgin and what would be cheating?

At some point in your life, you are/were a virgin. When did that status change? Assume a virgin. After which of these would this person no longer be a virgin: After masturbating? Masturbating while someone else is in the room? Someone holding this person while masturbating? Both people masturbating themselves? Masturbating each other? A finger or two inside?

Still there? Now, focus explicitly on women (since society recognizes women's virginity more than men's): Using a dildo? Someone holding the dildo but not touch this woman? Someone holding her while she used a dildo? Wearing the dildo on ones body while the woman was using it? Say the dildo was hollowed out, so one slips a finger in the dildo while she is using it? How about a man touching the end of the dildo with his divine rod? Putting his johnson inside of the hollowed-out dildo while she is using it? Making the dildo thinner, so that the man could feel the inside of the woman while she was using it? Making the dildo so thin, it is actual a condom?

If a woman did which of these things would you scoff if she said she was still a virgin? What about two women or two men? Starting from the same point, where can they say "Nope, not a virgin."? I've heard people say "Penetration, that is where virginity ends. For the guy, once he goes it, and for the women, once a guy is inside." So, what about lesbians who do not penetrate? Is there something to these L.U.G.s? (Lesbians Until Graduation)

I've also heard: sex is an act defined by the ability to procreate. Does that mean that lifetime gays will always be virgins? They also said that when getting married in the Catholic Church, the wedding isn't consummated until sex happens without a condom. This implies none of the above list makes one a non-virgin!

Then there is oral and anal sex, which some claim isn't really sex either. (Bill Clinton for the first, and a group called Technical Virgins for the second.)

So, it would seem that there are possibly a lot of things one could do and still claim to be a virgin. And, if these acts do not make one a non-virgin, by my definition, they are not sex. It seems that as long as one uses a condom, one may claim virginity!

The Edward

PS I think I will explore more on cheating in the next blog (or previous in blog-listed order). But it is tied to this one...

Disturbing...

I just found a few disturbing things that I will share with you. I always did like you best! And maybe some day, you can share something with me, or set me up on a date. Because after you read the first item, you will believe that you owe me one!

I was looking up the word Reese's for the previous post, which took me to the Hershey's site. Once there, I thought I might find a link to a place where I could buy their delicious candy in bulk, something to keep me warm at nights. ("Who's my favorite box of chocolates? You are, my 1,000 count KitKat. Why don't you move a little closer, it is kind of chilly in here. There isn't anyone else around, why don't we just slip you out of your packing crate. I'll just reach into your box and start munching on some goodness. Oh yeah, that is what I am talking about. Oh chocolate, you taste so good I just want to feel you all over my body. Suddenly, I feel tired, we'll talk in the morning.") That is what led me to there link for retail, where I found this: Retail. Look closely, this is the website that Hershey's is using to convince movie theatres to by their chocolate for the concession stands. Notice the Shelf Life category... the candy in theatres could sit there for a year! That is very disturbing! Grocery stores do not keep candy that long! Remember that next time you thing about putting down twenty bucks for a candy bar at the movies. Instead, buy one at the local grocery store for a lot less, then shove it down your pants so that you can sneak it into the theatre, thereby avoiding the disturbing candy bars for sale in the theatre lobby.

The other disturbing thing for me was the Blogs of Note category on blogger. It seems that they pick some random blogs and claim that there is something special about them, that they embody the ideals of blogger. So, I clicked on a few of them. Oh my god. They were filled with the tritest blogs I have ever seen! And the comments! They have 10+ comments per post telling the blogger how riveting their blog was. Is that what people really want to read? Surface level kind of talk? If I switched over to a happy kind of "You can do it!" blog, blogger would say "Wow, this is some cool shit! Our readers will crap there pants in excitement after reading about "How all people are really one" as expressed through "I saw this man on the street, and I realized that we are all strangers here. That's it. Isn't that mind-blowing?"" Where is the depth? Where is the personality? I want to read blogs that have character! I want to see things that will make me think, wonder about the person I am reading about, shock me, tell me something interesting... anything that isn't trite. But those are the Blogs of Note. Bland, boring, soulless, and fit for the masses.

I realized that I do not want those types of people reading my blog, just as I do not want to read theirs. I hope that in some way you enjoy what I write. (or what you read) If I have left a comment on your blog, it is because I thought there was something special about what you had to say.

The Edward

PS Yeah, you can tell by the sentence structure, the tone, and the topic that it is way late for me. Surprising since I haven't even been up for 12 hours yet. I just want to let you know, we are all the same. And we are all strangers here. We do not belong, which is the bond that makes us all the same. And strangers. Here.

Finger in the ass

I was watching Family Guy last week. Funny as usual, but it also dealt with a topic which is a very serious health concern for men: finger in the ass. Peter went to the doctor for some random reason, and while there the doctor told him he needed a prostate examination. He was skeptically, but followed the doctors directions of disrobing and bending over the table. Then the doctor, using the current medically approved means of checking a prostate, stuck his finger in Peter's ass. Peter felt sexually violated by this act. But why?

Why is a finger in the ass a sexual thing? Is a finger in the mouth? In the ear? In the vagina? Why? The finger can not easily be used to procreate (would require a lot of manipulation and transferring of fluids), so I do not believe it is considered a sexual organ. When I whip out my fingers to use a pencil at work, I've never heard a gasp from anyone. Or when I used my fingers at the table to eat, people haven't left the table in disgust. I do not think I have ever seen a picture of only a finger and thought it was porn.

So, maybe it is the ass part of this equation that is sexual. So, when one goes to the bathroom to deposit yesterday's lunch, do people think that that is a sexual act? Once someone takes a shit, are they are no longer a virgin? Ass seems to perform a set of bodily functions, none of which are involved in the act of procreation in humans.

My question still stands, why would someone feel that a finger in the ass is a sexual act, even if it is preceded by "Don't worry, I'm a doctor"? I'm not sure why, but it definitely feels that way. Is it inborn, or social? Would someone from a different culture say "Finger in the ass as sexual? You are mad! That is how we greet each other in my country. And why we do not shake hands."? Or maybe it is the combination, "finger" and/or "ass" = nothing, but "finger and ass" = sexual. Just like peanut butter and chocolate = Reese's = goodness!

I have a much longer train of thoughts on this, which I will explore in the next few days: "How does a sexual act become non-sexual when a doctor is involved?" "Any act that you can no longer claim "I'm still a virgin" after is a sexual act." and of course "What does it mean to be a virgin?" Here is a taste of the future: If a women goes on a date with a guy and he gets a couple of fingers into her vagina, is she still a virgin? What if she goes to a doctor and he needs to slip a few digits in there, would she still be a virgin?

The Edward

PS I did something stupid. There was this link on blogger that said "Click me, and I will make all of your dreams come true! We will convert your account and blog over to our new beta blogger, and we will give you more features than you can shake a stick at!" So, I did. And now that shaking stick has screwed me. I guess the feature I was really looking for in a blog is the inability to post comments to other people's blogs, which is a feature for me now that I am "beta"! They have a work around though: post all comments to non-beta blogs as anonymous! Very nice. Google seems to really know what users want! It also used to be too easy to log in to my blog: I would just go to blogger.com, and I was in and blogging. They fixed that right up, so now I need to log into my Google account each time I want to visit blogger, because it doesn't really remember people any more! Sweet! They have mastered inconveniencing users in two ways with just one button click: longer to log in, and the inability to post! And they will not let me switch my account back! I'd hate to see a company that didn't have a motto of "Do no evil"!

Summary: Do Not Click The Shiny Red Button! Avoid switching your account for the new features! Sure, it would make it easier on me, because I could then post on your blog, but it would be very bad for you. As it stands now, I do not even know if people can post to my blog! Thanks Google!

What? (Part 6)

Part 6 indeed. You thought that Part 5 was the final one just because I said so? You were correct to believe me. I have your back! There were just a few lose ends I wanted to clean up here. And besides, I'm sure part 5 was the final part for some people. I'm sure I will have more to say about this topic in the future, but for now, let's get to this blog entry.

I'm different. You know it. Search your thoughts and you will see that you probably thought I was odd when we first met. Why? Because I wasn't the same. Lack of peer pressure in my life. But is is more than that... I act like a clown, I wear bright colors, I believe things no normal person would, I separate flamboyant from gay (never understood why people think because a guy likes to be flamboyant that he also likes to suck cock - trust me, one doesn't imply the other - at least if the person is "alive") - I live over-the-top in strange ways.

A long time ago, I read a book on influence. I knew that the techniques worked, I just didn't know why. Kind of like the female orgasm. At the time, I had a few other friends who were into influence. We would notice others trying to use it and whether it worked or not; we would get quite a chuckle out of it. Amateurs. Of all of us, I was recognized as the master, because I could unduly influence anyone in the group as well as the normals. Sure, it was fun, but I thought it was more funny. So many stories about this topic...

There was this conservative couple that we knew. I thought of something funny - I told these manipulators that it would be funny to manipulate this couple into having me film them have sex and have them believe it was their own idea! (Of course, as any expert of influence will tell you, the best way to manipulate someone is make them think it was their own idea.) I didn't really believe I could do it, since I at that time thought people had freewill, I just thought it was a funny idea based on the situation and the beliefs of the group I hung with. I was surprised when others told me that they thought I could do it. That was a very shocking idea to me - to use influence to convince someone into doing something that they would normally find abhorrent. As a concept it was funny, but as an actual possible reality, I was not amused. I really only considered influence for simple things, things no one would really care about. Kind of like they say about hypnosis: while under one will never do something one wouldn't normally do. But, these people were telling me that they not only that this could be done, but that I had the ability to do it.

I never did try. I do not keep in touch with any of those people any more, so there is no need to fear that you are one of the people on either side of this story. I took a look around at my life at that time and realized some of the things I had done without really thinking about it. And, because of what I saw, I backed out of society, I became a shut-in. I realized it was too easy to influence people. It was almost like everyone around me was a ghost and I was a strong wind. Very scary to feel that way.

So, if you know me now, know that I go out of my way not to influence people. Really. I'm sure you have noticed me trying sometimes, and you must have thought to yourself (or some people have even said out loud), "I see you trying to do that, I will not be swayed by your mind tricks!" I know. By making it obvious, it has no power. But, it can alert people to tricks others might try. I made it my mission in life to bring people to a higher state. So, I try to move people not with influence but with over-the-top dialog that I hope will get people thinking about things. Even pussy.

When I started writing this whole thing (back when I was not to tired), I had this paragraph as a summary, enjoy:
The question for me is: What do I do now that I know I have this power? But more importantly, the question for you: Why am I telling you this? That, my friend, is a question I will never answer.

Though, it looks like in my tired state, I have inadvertently answered all of my questions, and left no mysteries for you. Now you know why I blog and why I do what I do. It is all for you! :)

The Edward

Final Part of my Friday...

Part five. Figure it out, chimp boy.

I wept not for my loneliness, but because I realized that everyone was asleep. People around me are constantly manipulating and being manipulated by others. And there are people out there who have learned this and can make people do extreme things to one another. And people have to be careful which ideas they expose themselves to so that they do not become someone that they would currently hate to become. And they can be trap in these situations, not because there is no way out (there is), it is just that it requires not listening to others so they do not see it.

I realized that I have a choice, and I exercise it all of the time. I can expose myself to far out ideas. I never have to worry that someone else's words will make me do something I do not want to do. I didn't worry about the affect of my words on others (though I guess I will have to now), since I didn't know there was an affect. Which is why I live over-the-top and say odd things, because the words are just for fun, no matter what.

I can tell by this point that I probably have offended some people who might read this. I believe most people reading this will misunderstand what I am trying to express in words. I can here it now, "You are so arrogant. You believe you are above us all. You believe you have freewill and none of us do. I make choices. I am not one of those weak-willed Mr. Loser types!" It is true that I can not speak for everyone, some of you might be free. How can you tell if I think you are one of us? Do you believe that words can make someone do something? Is it part of your unspoken beliefs? Do you believe that Hitler was guilty of any crime for telling people to do things? Do you believe that the person on the phone telling a fast-food manager to rape someone is guilty of a crime? I do not believe any of these are true. Or, at least what I believe about others based on what I know of myself.

General Semantics talks about all of this. When I first read the books, I didn't understand why they were written - they were so obvious in their truthiness I didn't understand the controversy. Alfred would teach GS, and on his first day of class, he would have someone walk into the room and yell at him, throw stuff around the room, threaten violence, then storm out. He would ask people to write down what they saw so he could press charges. Most of the students were upset at what they thought was a real situation. He would then tell them that the situation was fake. Anything they felt was because of them, not any external tension, because there was no tension, just actors. The words of others have no meaning, save what the hearer gives them.

I can not imagine that there are many people out there like me, based on my memories of the past and what I see of society today. I hope to be proven wrong... In the meantime, I will sit in my high castle and look down on humanity, knowing that Nietzsche was right about at least one thing.

The Edward

Why?

Part 4. First seek out Part 1. Then Part 2. Followed by part 3.

Last we left me on Friday last week, I was bawling like a baby in my office at work. (Not balling like a man with a hot date.) Why? I should be happy! So many of my memories now made sense. So much of my life on Earth that was a mystery to me, suddenly became clear. I should have been dancing in the streets! But I wasn't. Why? Because I then knew what it all meant, why this and so many other things have eluded me for so long. I didn't feel/think the same way as others. Not that I didn't have the same underlying belief (I do not), I know I do not share many common beliefs. Someone in a foreign land has beliefs that I would never even consider, but it doesn't bother me. Or at least it didn't, because I always thought that people choice what to believe, like I do.

People with different religions, different cultures, different ways of life, etc. I assumed that each person chose to live the life they were leading. If they didn't like where they were born, move somewhere. Don't like the desert, find a way out. Don't like the cold, move south. Don't like the ruling body, find like minded people. But, I now know this not to be true. People all over the word are who they are not by choice, but by the choices of others.

People who suicide bomb didn't sit down and think that this was the most rational way to make their point. They were just told their whole lives that that was what life was about. No real choices. The difference between a homeless man with strange opinions and Hitler is the way in which they delivered the message. A homeless person is not high up in the pack mentality of humans, he doesn't use his words correctly to motivate, etc. He could be the next Hitler, if he did things slightly differently, and he would be responsible for the actions of the people he convinced to believe in him. Because humans are that easy to sway.

Sure, I've read a lot books on influence, and I've always said humans are pack animals based on the way they drive and how companies and governments are structured. But, I always thought that was a choice, something to make it easier. "A burden shared is a burden lessened." Not "Alpha human told me to, so therefore I must."

I remember back to when I first started at this current job. There was a few weeks of controversy over a new splash screen. None of the long time engineers liked it. So, they all lined up to tell their manager how unhappy they were about it. I didn't understand. I thought "If you do not want the new splash screen, then don't put it in. No one else can do it except you, so if do not do it, it will not happen." But, they felt compelled to do something that was against their nature, because "word from on high said to do it!". Stop hitting yourself!

When I told people about my shift in understanding, they argued, "What if someone forces you? Puts a gun to your head!" They can not force you. If someone puts a gun to your head and tells you to steal a pack of gum or else, then the person with the gun is responsible for that physical threat, and you for the gum. You decided that your life was worth more than the gum. If someone says "Hey, kill that guy over there or I will go home and get a gun and kill you." Would you do it? If you have seen any movie, you would know that the guy is going to kill you either way, so why do something you do not want to do? He might not even have a gun! (Stories like that (of influence without actual basis) have fascinated me my whole life, so much so that I have sought them out.)

In the past, people have asked me to do things that I didn't want to do. If I do not want to, I do not do them. Often times they will try to manipulate me, which just looks kind of silly to me, to which I still say No.

I'm just kind of rambling now, rehashing in the point, making up extreme cases, etc. What it all meant to me is that I am, and always will be, alone in this world. And as sad as that is, that is not why I wept.

The Edward

Words

Part 3. What did I realize during the conversation? Are you reading this and wondering what I am talking about? Seek out Part 1. Then Part 2.

I realized that the underlying belief that they had was that one person can make someone do something solely with words. That people are not only easily manipulable, but so much so that we have laws and beliefs so ingrained that it appears obvious that someone else can make someone do something that they normally wouldn't do - solely with words.

At first I couldn't believe this. This was why I involved the friend back at the office, previously mentioned. I thought surely she will say something that will point out that I misreading the deeper meaning of my other friends statements. She didn't, she confirmed with her words that she had the same underlying belief. I was in shock and had to think about this.

So, back in my office, with the door closed, I thought about it. And I realized that if what I had realized about words was true, then a whole lot of my tagged memories would now make sense. So it probably was true: people are not really awake. People can make other people do things. Not just "Oh, she had a really compelling argument, so I took action based on her flawless logic." No, "She told me to and that was good enough for me."

Suddenly I understood the Milgram experiments. Why compliments work. I understood why when I was in High School, kids would blame the guy for stealing the girl. I understood how quite a few fast-food managers each year are convinced to rape employees because someone on the phone told them to. I understood why there were Nazi party leaders on trial. I understood why some bands are sued when one of their "followers" kills himself because of lyrics telling him to. So many things at work, in my life, in the news, everywhere - it all made sense if I believed this eldritch underlying premise. And I wept.

The Edward