Death of Single Human Males

Well, I am back from my birthday/road trips! Enough of that world.

I noticed something: society is trying to kill single human males - let's call them "men". The means of doing this? Stress, you might think, but you would be wrong. Lack of pussy? Possibly, but my understanding from married men is that that is a resource that dries up after marriage, who are not single by definition. Well, my friends, as cute as it is to see you guessing such obviously wrong answers, I'll break down and tell you: it is society and fast food.

We have a society that turns a questioning eye to people dining out alone. I've often heard "Your table is ready. Just one for tonight? What, you couldn't even convince someone to eat with meal with you if you paid? Well, I guess we can seat you right here in the middle of the room... at a table, no booth for you!" With this kind of social resistance to eating out alone (which we can all admit is tough to do), what is a man to do? Fast food!

At the local fast food emporium, they are happy to serve up some grub for one person. Go into any one at any time of the day, and one can always find at least one single man there eating, face towards the plate, not looking around. This is socially acceptable. And this is where death comes in - fast food isn't as healthy for one as food at a restaurant. Not even close.

So, we force these single men to eat less healthy food, or else feel unloved and on display in the middle of a crowded place with real food, crying on the inside while pretending to read a fascinating book on the outside. Society is trying to kill them all off! Proof, I tell you, proof! What about preparing food for one's self at home? Come on, look in any cook book - the meal sizes in there are not for one. So, following this path, one is either forced to eat way too much (also unhealthy), or save the food not eaten, then eat this partially spoiled food at some future time (also unhealthy).

What's that you say, what about single human females ("women")? Since they are most often recipients of the aforementioned free meals at nice places, that argument doesn't apply. It isn't socially unacceptable for a single woman to eat at fast food - I do not think I have ever seen one there. And for the last point, they can cook food for themselves, and do not generally seem to mind eating that which was not eaten when the food was fresh.

The Edward

PS I know I was speaking in generalities, and you can probably point to at least one person who doesn't fit the mold. All I can say is: generalities are true, and the person you are pointing at is lying to you. I know these things to be true.