First Second

It always seems that people want to be First or commemorate the first of something. How many times have I seen the first 20 posts on a slashdot or aintitcoolnews story being "First"? How many blogs start with "Wow, this is my first post! I guess I should say something clever about that here."?

It looks like I blew my chance, since my first post was something else, so I'm taking this time to make this second post be know as my first second post! And the post after this will be my first third post! Nice. I see exciting topics like these stretching out until the universe dies of boredom.

We are so fascinated with firsts that we have a word that we use, Virgin. The problem with using that word in so many contexts is that of its sexual nature, which always gets a laugh. "This is his first drink, so he is a virgin." "This is the first time a train has enter this tunnel, so it is still a virgin tunnel." "The virgin soil of the moon." "My virgin eyes." "This virgin dildo." Etc.

I think we need a modifier rather than a word. Something that signals "the first time", so then we can have a word for sexual virgin be "sex"+ special ending. Say we choose "foo", so we would say sexfoo for the first sexual experience. Moon landingfoo. Hatfoo. And even foofoo. Think of the endless fun one can have with an ending rather than a tired old word. This idea I present to you for the first time. Ideafoo. Thinkfoo.

-Edward