Saturday, September 16, 2006

Finger in the ass

I was watching Family Guy last week. Funny as usual, but it also dealt with a topic which is a very serious health concern for men: finger in the ass. Peter went to the doctor for some random reason, and while there the doctor told him he needed a prostate examination. He was skeptically, but followed the doctors directions of disrobing and bending over the table. Then the doctor, using the current medically approved means of checking a prostate, stuck his finger in Peter's ass. Peter felt sexually violated by this act. But why?

Why is a finger in the ass a sexual thing? Is a finger in the mouth? In the ear? In the vagina? Why? The finger can not easily be used to procreate (would require a lot of manipulation and transferring of fluids), so I do not believe it is considered a sexual organ. When I whip out my fingers to use a pencil at work, I've never heard a gasp from anyone. Or when I used my fingers at the table to eat, people haven't left the table in disgust. I do not think I have ever seen a picture of only a finger and thought it was porn.

So, maybe it is the ass part of this equation that is sexual. So, when one goes to the bathroom to deposit yesterday's lunch, do people think that that is a sexual act? Once someone takes a shit, are they are no longer a virgin? Ass seems to perform a set of bodily functions, none of which are involved in the act of procreation in humans.

My question still stands, why would someone feel that a finger in the ass is a sexual act, even if it is preceded by "Don't worry, I'm a doctor"? I'm not sure why, but it definitely feels that way. Is it inborn, or social? Would someone from a different culture say "Finger in the ass as sexual? You are mad! That is how we greet each other in my country. And why we do not shake hands."? Or maybe it is the combination, "finger" and/or "ass" = nothing, but "finger and ass" = sexual. Just like peanut butter and chocolate = Reese's = goodness!

I have a much longer train of thoughts on this, which I will explore in the next few days: "How does a sexual act become non-sexual when a doctor is involved?" "Any act that you can no longer claim "I'm still a virgin" after is a sexual act." and of course "What does it mean to be a virgin?" Here is a taste of the future: If a women goes on a date with a guy and he gets a couple of fingers into her vagina, is she still a virgin? What if she goes to a doctor and he needs to slip a few digits in there, would she still be a virgin?

The Edward

PS I did something stupid. There was this link on blogger that said "Click me, and I will make all of your dreams come true! We will convert your account and blog over to our new beta blogger, and we will give you more features than you can shake a stick at!" So, I did. And now that shaking stick has screwed me. I guess the feature I was really looking for in a blog is the inability to post comments to other people's blogs, which is a feature for me now that I am "beta"! They have a work around though: post all comments to non-beta blogs as anonymous! Very nice. Google seems to really know what users want! It also used to be too easy to log in to my blog: I would just go to blogger.com, and I was in and blogging. They fixed that right up, so now I need to log into my Google account each time I want to visit blogger, because it doesn't really remember people any more! Sweet! They have mastered inconveniencing users in two ways with just one button click: longer to log in, and the inability to post! And they will not let me switch my account back! I'd hate to see a company that didn't have a motto of "Do no evil"!

Summary: Do Not Click The Shiny Red Button! Avoid switching your account for the new features! Sure, it would make it easier on me, because I could then post on your blog, but it would be very bad for you. As it stands now, I do not even know if people can post to my blog! Thanks Google!

4 comments:

The Edward said...

Yeah, yeah, commenting on my own post. It is late, and I am curious if I can post to any blogs now that I beta'ed myself. If you are reading this, then at least I can comment on my own blog. Yippee! If you are not reading this, then it is a divide by zero.

Sugar Addict said...

You are a man of science, try an experiment to find your answers.
Go to a doctor, get a prostate exam. You're probably due one anyway.
Then, next time you're getting a blowjob, have the person insert a nice, warm, lubed finger up your ass.

Compare the experiences, find your answers.

No one can tell you what the difference will be, you have to find out for yourself!

The Edward said...

Interesting idea... thanks! It has lead me to another idea that I find more appealing: next time I am having sex I should eat a burger and compare that to eating a burger with my doctor, this way I can see whether eating a burger is a sexual act or not. Because I know when I eat a good burger... yum!

The main issue that I have with this finger/ass thing is that if it really is a sexual act by itself, then going to a doctor and getting it done means I will have had sex with that person. I would need to know before I give it a try, in this case. I do not recognize "doctor" as exempt from normal labels (which I have a long post I am working on that I would love to hear your feedback on), the person behind that white lab coat is still some dude that went to high school, looks at porn, has sexual desires, etc. Just because he went to school for a few years doesn't change what he is: a fellow human, and one I would rather not put on my list of people I had a sexual experience with.

Thank you for your post! I hope to have a fuller explanation in the near future.

bfree said...

Certain tactile nerves tend to trigger and enhance sexual arousal.

While it is possible to be aroused by stroking one's forearm or the inside of one's mouth - it is more likely (for mammals) to become quickly aroused by touching one's penis/clitorus, anus or nipples.

Hence the association with sex.