Whirl Peas

I'm not quite sure why this is such a hot topic. I hear people talking about it all of the time. I've tried visualizing them, but gosh darn it, peas are god's most disgusting creatures and a quick trip through the blender doesn't enhance their appeal. Listening to political debates is like seeing a bad episode of Iron Chef. "We want whirl peas over here, but you keep standing in our way. You want whirl peas, but are you willing to kill people for it? It will be world peas our way or not at all!" Can't these people all just get along! They all just need a big group hug! Or a big group orgy, since sex seems to bond friendships better than most anything else on this planet, even better than food. I mean who among us hasn't slept with a good friend just to make the friendship stronger? It obviously works for dating. "I kind of liked you Marsha. I think we might have hit it off, but I am not sure. But if we have sex, maybe this will turn out to be a great date after all! Just a little sex, that's all we need. Just let me slip it in for a minute." Then after the hours of sex have ended, a simple hanging out has turned into a relationship. And now these two are bonded.

So, what I am I saying? I think we need to get all of the world leaders doing it. It will be like the chimps, they will all feel attached to one another afterwards - all pair bonded and stuff. They will each have a knowing smile when they talk to each other. They would pick fleas off of each other. Who would be able to fight over peas after such a positive, uplifting, and morally correct session of good old fashion mating. Ook ook.

The Edward