Lies
Applying my Models Theory to people: you can not model more than yourself. The people in your life are represented in your mind at some abstraction level. What does this mean in the practical sense? Many things, but the most important for today is this: If the people in your life do not shock you with their ideas or deeds on a regular basis, then your relationship is a lie. (ie something is being hidden from you)
If you are in a long term relationship with someone, you should be learning more about that person every day. Some of the things you learn will shock you, because some of these things should be outside of the model in your mind of that person. If the other person totally fits the model in your mind, then they are not being themselves around you. That is okay in some relationships (like with your plumber), but the longer you want the relationship to last, the large this area has to be and the more shocks you will get along the way.
How does someone in a couple know the other person is cheating on them? Everything is too normal. Why? Because to make sure that that other area of one's life is kept secret, one is forced to act within the confines of what one believes the other person's model of them is? How do people get caught? Because people do not always know what someones model of them is.
How shocked have you been by people in your life that you care about? How much have you shocked them? You know you have secrets from everyone and you know those secrets would shock people if they knew. Based on this, you know that you are keeping a part of your life from those you care about. Why?
Just remember, I am here for you, and everything you say or do shocks me. But in a good way.
-Edward
PS I'm trying something different in my writing style today. Though, I am still writing late at night when it is hard to focus. And then again, adding this PS probably changes the tone of the above message, so don't read this PS. And never refer to a sentence or paragraph within itself, like I'm doing here - it is considered bad style. (unless you make a movie Adaptation)
4 comments:
Now that's a very interesting theory. Is it entirely your own or is it something that others have proposed as well? Either way it should make for interesting dinner conversation tonight.
Thank you. Solely my own. Based on some of my theories of information and language. There is a lot more information available to you than you think, and a lot less as well. People put too much faith in models, which have limits of predictability, yet the models themselves tell you a lot about you and the people you deal with.
"If'n you ain't the grandaddy of all liars! The little critters of nature, they don't know that they're ugly. That's very funny - a fly marrying a bumblebee. I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Why didn't you believe me?!" Happy Happy Joy Joy
Unless I misunderstand what you mean by "shock," I have to disagree with you.
To be shocked every day by someone means (to me) that that person is behaving in ways that are unexpected. As you grow to know someone, you should be able to anticipate how they will react in a given situation.
I know a lot about my wife, but far from everything. There is still much about her I can learn (and vice versa). But I am pretty sure of how she will react in a given situation.
If she were to start acting differently and reacting in ways that were contrary to how she has reacted in the past, I would definitely be shocked, but I would also suspect something is wrong.
madpuppy, I believe you are getting my definition, it just sounds like we disagree. I believe that it is impossible to know everything about someone. If a person in your life doesn't hold some belief that shocks you, then that person is holding back from you. You can get to know someone better, but the more you find out, the more likely you should find something shocking. If not, then that person is only presenting the part of themselves that they think you will not find shocking. Hence, the lies.
Everything you ever say or said, or everything you ever do or have done, would you do all of things in front of your wife (or someone else in your life)? Do you not believe that there is something in your believes or something in your past that would shock people close to you? Nothing at all?...
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