Good-bye Cruel...

World? Pussy? Job? That's it, job! Now I remember. I had this spiffy new job which I was going on about. Well, it is gone now. Gone in the way of the dodo bird. Gone in the way of the bald eagle. Well, it probably is gone more of the way of a cheese burger - it is still there it is just be processed by a different internal organ now. That is with me being the mouth, the cheese burger being the job, or wait am I the hand... or was it the spleen that is now doing the burger now... anyway, you get the picture.

I was quite clear the other day when I said that women in my mind won, right? You know, the OCD woman I was trying not to become, so I took this job in hopes of avoiding my fate, etc? Anyway, I didn't overcome my fate - it was like a constant panic attack while I was there. I didn't adapt....

But that leads me to here! I can not believe I had forgotten who I was! I was trapped in a life I didn't create. Wait, I guess I did create it... well, I was trapped in this other life that wasn't me. I spent all of my days in pain. The funny thing about being in constant pain, at some point you forgot what it was like without that pain. Even for the first few days after the quittening I thought my world was over. In a way it was, the life I had, the one where I was constantly trying to forget that I was in pain, that one, it is over now. I've laughed for real for the first time in a long, long while.

So, how does all of this relate to this blog and its central theme? It doesn't, so screw you. Actually, it does. It is easy to get trapped in other people's view of the world. And it is easy to not realize it. Didn't you have a dream once rather than a scheme? Do you know who you are? Where does the line between you and your world being and end? How much of the time do you spend fighting to change your world, when change is the easiest thing in the world to do? It is much, much harder and more draining to remember the fake you, the one you present to the world, and to make sure that this fake you is consistent. That is how you know it isn't really you - you are flawed, so if you have a consistent face, it is a mask.

Do something different! Do not live the life you of yesterday decided on! Be who you are! I see you hiding there... I have lived your life for the past few years to better understand you, now it is time that you try it my way...

The Edward