Those are people who died, died

Man alive, I used to love that song. It so encapsulated life. But what brought this on, you might ask? Go ahead, ask!

Charles Nelson Reilly passed away on Friday. I was a big fan of his works when I was a child. While reading about him, I saw that Tom Poston passed away as well. I admit, the name sounded familiar, but it wasn't until I went to imdb.com and saw his picture that it all came flooding back to me - he was on like everything! A good guy, but no Charles Nelson Reilly was he!

Back to Charles. He was right up there with Paul Lynde and Johnathan Harris as people who influenced my life when I was young. Sure, there were others that I was a fan of: Don Knotts and Bob Crane come to mind, but they were just good actors. The Big 3 - they were different!

As a kid, I saw all that was on TV, that was all I did was watch TV (kind of why I hate it now). And all of it was kind of bland, except for Sid and Marty Krofft shows. But as actors go, they were different. Flamboyant. They lived life large and weren't afraid of being different. Later people told me they weren't flamboyant, but rather gay. Whether they wanted to have sex with women or men, how does that change flamboyance? I consider them separate things.

I love the flamboyant lifestyle - which I define as anything over the top - leather, vinyl, bright colors, chains, etc. And they were over the top, in their own way. But now they are all gone, we are are left with people like Brittney, Lindsey, and Paris - shallow comparisons to really living large. Who will be around to inspire the next generation, to tell people that it is okay to be different, to tell people that bright colors are okay for all to wear? Who?

But for all people who are dead, I have the same feeling. Death only affects the living. Enjoy the people you treasure while they are alive. Once they are gone, move on to other people who are living. Let the dead have their peace.

The Edward

The End of the Human Race!

Listen, friends, I have seen the coming of the end. The end of all that you know. The end of the human race. And I am here to tell you about it, not so that you can prevent it - you can't - but so that you can revel in it. How did it come to pass that I saw the end? Well, let me tell you a story, and like all good stories, it begins in the local sex shop.

See, I go to the local sex shops with friends, though only my good friends. I've even bought women friends items from there, good women friends. And being good friends, they tell me tales about the wonderful items they have gotten from there. I know which dildos are best and why. I know that there are dildos out there that are so amazingly good - there are claims that they are better at generating better orgasms in women than man are! See, begin a man, they do not carry items of this nature for people like me - male. All of the great an wonderful things are for women - which is why I like to hear about them in great detail. And it is through these wonderful descriptions by these dear friends that I saw seeds of man's downfall. My research has paid off!

Want to know what I found out? Well, the obvious thing, I even stated it above: they do not make devices that produce orgasms in men to anywhere near the same extent as they do for women. Why is that? Why is it that women are left to suffer at the hands of the modern plastics industry while men are left to suffer at the hands of... women. And that was it. Men can not get anything that supplies anywhere near as good of an orgasm as from real, live pussy.

I have heard tell of a fish that feels so much like the human vagina that it is actually illegal to catch. Why is that? Because someone else figured it out as well: if there was something that felt as good as real live pussy, men would fuck that rather than a real human women.

People like sex. As I have said before, it seems that this world is swimming in it - and it has to be. But it also seems that people do not like other people. Humans have this flaw, they want to have sex, but there is the trade off of having to be around other people to have it. They have solved the problem for women, and yet they still have sex with men. But, if there were ever a device invented that felt as good as real live pussy, everyone knows that that is all men would do all day long.

So, how does this spell the end of the human race? Only in this way: if such a virtual pussy is invented or found and is as cheap to make as dildos, all within one generation, all of the humans around would die out due to lack of real sex. If it takes more than a generation to get one of these into the hands of every man worldwide, there is a small chance people, probably women, would be able to put an end to this device before the race dies off.

How can we stop this? How can we make sure that this virtual pussy never comes to pass? Short of the destruction of all of science, you can't - it will happen very soon. Well, maybe, just maybe if men can find what they seek and it is easier get than it will be to slap down $50 as the local sex shop for a virtual pussy... so, yeah, there is no hope for the human race.

The Edward

I'm here already

People seem to want to stand in the exact same spot that I am standing. If I am in a movie theatre, it seems I must pick the ideal seat, based on the crowds. Walking down the hallway at work, someone always tries to walk where I am. Looking for a snack, someone leaning against the door. Going to the grocery store late at night, the only other person in the store will be where I want to go, and if I go to some other aisle, within a minute they will want to look at exactly the same think I am pretending to look at, but they want to do it from exactly where I am standing.

Enough already! I know that this is all a simulation. And I know that I am a real person trapped in it. And I am guessing that some of the others here are real as well. And some of them want to be around me, to observe what I am observing, to stand in my shoes, etc. Like I am a celebraty in the outside world, kind of like in The Truman Show. By the way, that movie was a dead give away - you told me everything!

The Edward

Biology and the Bible

I hear certain types of arguments a lot, even outside of my head between people in the real world. And I've discovered something - Biology is like the Bible when it comes to some arguments.

For example, take sex. No really, take some, I have plenty to share, just be sure to share yours as well. When people talk about sex, I hear this argument "Men want to spread their seed around. Women want to be selective about who's seed they take. It is a biological drive based on child rearing! That is why men always want sex and women do not, biology. No changing that, that is just how we are programmed. Live with it." And yet we are omnivores, as one can tell by that very same biology. (We have two types of teeth, we can digest both plant and vegetable matter, etc.) And yet there are vegetarians out there, I know, I have met a few. These are people who for have forsaken their biology for religious or social needs.

There are many examples of this, where people can choose whether to listen to biology or some societal signal. And yet in each case, even though they are deciding which to pick, when it comes to biology I hear "That's just the way it is, biological." Biology is used to justify why they do or don't do something, rather than saying, "This is what I have chosen to do."

I used to hear the same thing all of the time with the Bible. "Well, God said that we should all tithe, so give up your 10% to the Church. God said fornication is wrong, so stop that. Etc." Yet, the Bible also talks about stoning people for what we do not even consider crimes now, etc. So, the Bible was used not as a literal device, no matter how many people I have met who claim it is one, but as a justification of why they do or don't do something.

So, when I hear people say "biologically speaking" I think "Wow, that is interesting that we have a base level program to do that. And even more interesting that we can choose not to."

The Edward

Good-bye Cruel...

World? Pussy? Job? That's it, job! Now I remember. I had this spiffy new job which I was going on about. Well, it is gone now. Gone in the way of the dodo bird. Gone in the way of the bald eagle. Well, it probably is gone more of the way of a cheese burger - it is still there it is just be processed by a different internal organ now. That is with me being the mouth, the cheese burger being the job, or wait am I the hand... or was it the spleen that is now doing the burger now... anyway, you get the picture.

I was quite clear the other day when I said that women in my mind won, right? You know, the OCD woman I was trying not to become, so I took this job in hopes of avoiding my fate, etc? Anyway, I didn't overcome my fate - it was like a constant panic attack while I was there. I didn't adapt....

But that leads me to here! I can not believe I had forgotten who I was! I was trapped in a life I didn't create. Wait, I guess I did create it... well, I was trapped in this other life that wasn't me. I spent all of my days in pain. The funny thing about being in constant pain, at some point you forgot what it was like without that pain. Even for the first few days after the quittening I thought my world was over. In a way it was, the life I had, the one where I was constantly trying to forget that I was in pain, that one, it is over now. I've laughed for real for the first time in a long, long while.

So, how does all of this relate to this blog and its central theme? It doesn't, so screw you. Actually, it does. It is easy to get trapped in other people's view of the world. And it is easy to not realize it. Didn't you have a dream once rather than a scheme? Do you know who you are? Where does the line between you and your world being and end? How much of the time do you spend fighting to change your world, when change is the easiest thing in the world to do? It is much, much harder and more draining to remember the fake you, the one you present to the world, and to make sure that this fake you is consistent. That is how you know it isn't really you - you are flawed, so if you have a consistent face, it is a mask.

Do something different! Do not live the life you of yesterday decided on! Be who you are! I see you hiding there... I have lived your life for the past few years to better understand you, now it is time that you try it my way...

The Edward

I Lost

The woman in the pasta shop in my mind won.

The Edward