The Order of the Phoenix

I still remember the first time I heard of the title of what was then the newest Harry Potter book. Well, I do not really remember where I was or what I was wearing or who I was doing at the time. Its not like I was having sex and she said "Oh yeah, that is nice. By the way, did you hear the news about the name of the latest Harry Potter novel? That's the spot, right there. Yeah, it is called..." etc. That I would probably remember, so it probably was something more mundane, like I was driving to work and heard a pedestrian scream it at me as I just barely missed hitting a small gaggle of geese.

What I do remember was thinking "Wow, what a crappy title for a book." And now that a movie based on that novel is about to grace our World, it is reviving that memory within me, a memory that I am now sharing with you.

The reason I thought it was a crappy title is because the way I interpreted the title and I was sure that in no way would be what the book was about (which turned out to be true). Being that I enjoy food, my interpretation was: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. See the difference? Well, see Order was a food term for me. So, I had this vision of Harry Potter going to his local restaurant and ordering The Phoenix. That didn't really sound like one could fill an entire book with that story and keep it interesting.

As time passed, I forgave the crappy name and decided that I could write a book based on my understanding of the title - or at least make a short film about it. See, Harry Potter, the boy who survived a horrible forking as a child (but which took his parents) but left him with a scar, decides to check out Lord Voldemort's restaurant (which is where the tragic accident had happened). But he is going to get back at Voldemort, he was going to order The Phoenix, and since it begins with a definite article, I would assume that there is only one dish of it available, and once it is gone there is no more. Voldemort's entire restaurant reputation rests on The One Dish That No One Dare Speak Its Name (while ordering), for once it has been ordered, his restaurant will close for ever! (And people kind of think that most of his dishes are pretty darn good, so they don't order it.) Harry, seeking revenge, because he is kind of a jerk in the previous novels, goes to the restaurant to Order the Phoenix. What happens next? Who will win this battle of wills and wits? See, there could be some meat to this story!

Or Harry is at cooking school. Dumbledore is the head chef. Etc. Though, this would require rewriting most of the original books to make this work, so I abandon this idea. Who wants to read a seven book series about the Boy Who Lived (after a really bad case of food poisoning)?

So, what am I saying? Sometimes words have two meanings. Sometimes those meanings are not what one intends, since one doesn't really know how others will bias one's words. And I think I could write a really good parody of Harry Potter if I tried.

The Edward