Thinking

I've seen many Taco Bell commercials in my day. (Commercials are those things that used to interrupt our shows, stealing 1/3 of our lives before TiVo allowed us to skip them all.) They asked us to Think Outside the Bun. Kind of a takeoff on Think Outside the Box.

Well, I have a confession to make. I've thought outside the bun all my life. Sure, I've thought about thinking inside of the bun - seen the movies and various websites, and they all do make it seem so interesting, but is it really? I believe that all of those people are actors, so they could just be putting on a show, making it look like a lot more fun that it sounds. That's why I'm glad we have companies like Taco Bell. They are telling it like it is, giving people choices. Let people know it is okay to say "Yeah, I know we've been going out for a long time and I do love you, but I do not think I will ever be happy with thinking inside the bun. Are you okay with that? I am just not a bun thinker."

Maybe if one slips a finger in the bun, rather than a full on thinking... I guess I would have to say "To each their own." Though, if we go back to the original idea, The Box...

I've been in many meetings at many companies, all who want us to Think Outside of the Box. This one is a harder one to comply with (in theory, though in practice...). Sure, I've spent almost all of my life Thinking Outside of the Box, but you know, most days I think I would enjoy Thinking Inside the Box again. Every once in a while, just to keep the memory alive of what it was like. Oh yeah, Thinking Inside of the Box... much more acceptable than Thinking Inside of the Bun.

And of course to make sure we uphold the ideal of thinking outside of the box: a finger in the box is always okay, since we wouldn't be really thinking. I'm off to do a little thinking on my own.

The Edward

Addams

I've always been a fan of Mr. Addams. Sure, I saw the TV show first, then discovered it was based on older cartoons that appeared in Playboy. This of course lead to my fascination with Playboy and naked women, then on to the harder stuff. I guess Addams was a gateway drug to hardcore porn.

Beyond that, there were the movies, then another TV series, etc. Addams legacy lives on! His works show us a glimpse into another world, a world where the rules are different than the "real" world. I must confess, it warped my little mind back then. I try to live the Addams life style. See the world the Addams way. "Seek out the dark forces and join in their hellish crusade."

They are finally releasing the original TV show on DVD next month! Then, I can own all of them... except for the crappy new show which really never got into the Addams spirit.

When I am feeling down in the dumps, I fire up the 2 movies, and they never fail to cheer me up. They have such a positive outlook on life. No matter what others think of them, they live how they want to live. They surround themselves with death and despair, because they realize these things are not real. The Addams Family is a wake up call, to realize that nothing in this world makes sense, so why not create your own sense of reality? And that is what I do.

So, cheers to Mr. Addams and all like him - those who envision a world different than yours and those around you. At least, that is what I am guessing based on movies and TV, since my world is different. My Arcane World.

The Edward

Powers

The Covenant - horrible movie, but an interesting point: if you had been born with specials powers, could do something that no one around you could do, how would you know? How could you develop them? Skills require a long time to develop, more than one human lifespan. So, you can learn to do something more effectively if someone teaches you, just as that person learned and expanded a bit upon the knowledge of someone else. If you are the first with an ability, you need to seek out others with your powers, if any exist. Together, you could discover what you couldn't separately. Kind of like sex: solo vs couple, but with powers!

How would you know if you had powers? If the method of releasing them were complex. What if it required beating yourself with a baseball bat, how would you find out? If it involved slipping a bat inside one of your lower cavities, I've seen pictures, and none of those people look like they had any special powers, except the power to excite others. But there are easier ways for that power to manifest.

How do you think you might become invisible? Or fly? Would you really trust jumping off of a building? How would you know that flying only works off of buildings less than 20 feet high or greater than 30 feet high, and you happen to be on a 25 floor building this time? Or that you become visible again when seeing naked people... scary stuff! (Since I do not believe in inductive reasoning, ever event appears to be unique. Just because I could fly yesterday in no way implies I could fly today. So, how could someone like me ever find or use powers? :(

What kind of powers could or do exist in this world? Sure, we've all seen a man fly, but have we seen a man with the ability to see through women's clothing (or through any material in the Universe except bra and panties)? In comics, mentalists can make people do whatever they want, but maybe in the real world, one can only make people act like chickens or dump you to sleep with your best friend? Then there is The Flash, people with super speed, but what if they lack the lighten quick reflexes needed at those speeds, so they become the next smear on the wall - or so fast in bed that they lead sad lonely lives? So many possible powers, yet I see so few to choice from in literature. I hope the world is more complex when it comes time to discover my real secret powers!

What about side effects of powers? Using them caused a sun somewhere in the universe to go out, or some one on this planet to suffer or die, or it shortened your life? Is it just better to stay with the flock, pretend that you are the same? Or take a chance, try to be someone new, try out your powers, sure it might kill you (or someone else or some far off planet), but it could make you stronger, or allow you to find others like you, or teach you something you could pass along to future people like you. But, how could you find them to pass or get passed info? With a blog!

The Edward

Cheater!

So, this post is tied to the next/previous (depending on the order in which you are reading these). What constitutes cheating? (on a spouse, boy/girlfriend, SO, pet, etc)

I watched some Court TV in my day, so I know a little about divorce. There was often claims of cheating. But, what did they mean by that? It seemed that they always associate cheating with sex. "My husband slept with his secretary. And not only that, they had sex while in bed together!" "My wife was letting the copy boy in the office bang her in the copy room, while he was still making copies!" But, is that all there is to it? If you are with someone, and they had sex with someone else, would you consider yourself cheated on? But, what is sex? Well, as I stated in Technical Virgin, one might consider any act that one wears a condom during to NOT be cheating. But, would you really feel that way? "Dear, I was doing a few of the women in the office the other day, but no need to worry I was wearing a condom the whole time. Because, I would never want to cheat on you!", "I love you too, dear. Thanks for being so considerate." That conversation will probably never happen in anyone's life. But, maybe it should...

But, is sex all that is required for cheating to have occurred? What about kissing? If you found your SO kissing someone else, would you think you have been cheated on? Would that be grounds to end a relationship? Or does it really require sex (whatever that is)? How about hugging? What if they just got naked together? Slipped a finger in the ass? Went to a doctor?

What about just emotional bonding? This is a hot topic these days: Work Spouses. One has a person at work of the sex one is attracted to that they bond and share feelings with. If you share you feelings with someone, things you do not tell your SO, are you cheating on that person? Isn't cheating actually just depriving the person of some part of you, ie to cheat them out of you? So, "sex" with someone is not sharing that experience with your SO. Going to lunches every day with the same people and sharing your problems, isn't that also cheating your SO of that bond?

What am I saying? If you are close to someone you are just as guilty of cheating as if you had sex with that person (with or without a condom)? Yes, that is what I am saying. So, if you are close to someone, you might as well sleep with them as well, since it really is the same: cheating on your spouse, girl/boyfriend, SO, pet, etc.

The Edward

Technical Virgin

What defines a virgin? What defines cheating? If you are not a virgin and want to determine if what you are about to do would be cheating, how about this definition: if you were a virgin, and you did this act, would you still call yourself a virgin? Doesn't the word virgin imply a sexual virgin? (in this case vs in a long ago blog) If so, then anything that would change your state from virgin to non-virgin would be a sexual act, but is the converse true? So, I've been thinking, what is a virgin and what would be cheating?

At some point in your life, you are/were a virgin. When did that status change? Assume a virgin. After which of these would this person no longer be a virgin: After masturbating? Masturbating while someone else is in the room? Someone holding this person while masturbating? Both people masturbating themselves? Masturbating each other? A finger or two inside?

Still there? Now, focus explicitly on women (since society recognizes women's virginity more than men's): Using a dildo? Someone holding the dildo but not touch this woman? Someone holding her while she used a dildo? Wearing the dildo on ones body while the woman was using it? Say the dildo was hollowed out, so one slips a finger in the dildo while she is using it? How about a man touching the end of the dildo with his divine rod? Putting his johnson inside of the hollowed-out dildo while she is using it? Making the dildo thinner, so that the man could feel the inside of the woman while she was using it? Making the dildo so thin, it is actual a condom?

If a woman did which of these things would you scoff if she said she was still a virgin? What about two women or two men? Starting from the same point, where can they say "Nope, not a virgin."? I've heard people say "Penetration, that is where virginity ends. For the guy, once he goes it, and for the women, once a guy is inside." So, what about lesbians who do not penetrate? Is there something to these L.U.G.s? (Lesbians Until Graduation)

I've also heard: sex is an act defined by the ability to procreate. Does that mean that lifetime gays will always be virgins? They also said that when getting married in the Catholic Church, the wedding isn't consummated until sex happens without a condom. This implies none of the above list makes one a non-virgin!

Then there is oral and anal sex, which some claim isn't really sex either. (Bill Clinton for the first, and a group called Technical Virgins for the second.)

So, it would seem that there are possibly a lot of things one could do and still claim to be a virgin. And, if these acts do not make one a non-virgin, by my definition, they are not sex. It seems that as long as one uses a condom, one may claim virginity!

The Edward

PS I think I will explore more on cheating in the next blog (or previous in blog-listed order). But it is tied to this one...

Disturbing...

I just found a few disturbing things that I will share with you. I always did like you best! And maybe some day, you can share something with me, or set me up on a date. Because after you read the first item, you will believe that you owe me one!

I was looking up the word Reese's for the previous post, which took me to the Hershey's site. Once there, I thought I might find a link to a place where I could buy their delicious candy in bulk, something to keep me warm at nights. ("Who's my favorite box of chocolates? You are, my 1,000 count KitKat. Why don't you move a little closer, it is kind of chilly in here. There isn't anyone else around, why don't we just slip you out of your packing crate. I'll just reach into your box and start munching on some goodness. Oh yeah, that is what I am talking about. Oh chocolate, you taste so good I just want to feel you all over my body. Suddenly, I feel tired, we'll talk in the morning.") That is what led me to there link for retail, where I found this: Retail. Look closely, this is the website that Hershey's is using to convince movie theatres to by their chocolate for the concession stands. Notice the Shelf Life category... the candy in theatres could sit there for a year! That is very disturbing! Grocery stores do not keep candy that long! Remember that next time you thing about putting down twenty bucks for a candy bar at the movies. Instead, buy one at the local grocery store for a lot less, then shove it down your pants so that you can sneak it into the theatre, thereby avoiding the disturbing candy bars for sale in the theatre lobby.

The other disturbing thing for me was the Blogs of Note category on blogger. It seems that they pick some random blogs and claim that there is something special about them, that they embody the ideals of blogger. So, I clicked on a few of them. Oh my god. They were filled with the tritest blogs I have ever seen! And the comments! They have 10+ comments per post telling the blogger how riveting their blog was. Is that what people really want to read? Surface level kind of talk? If I switched over to a happy kind of "You can do it!" blog, blogger would say "Wow, this is some cool shit! Our readers will crap there pants in excitement after reading about "How all people are really one" as expressed through "I saw this man on the street, and I realized that we are all strangers here. That's it. Isn't that mind-blowing?"" Where is the depth? Where is the personality? I want to read blogs that have character! I want to see things that will make me think, wonder about the person I am reading about, shock me, tell me something interesting... anything that isn't trite. But those are the Blogs of Note. Bland, boring, soulless, and fit for the masses.

I realized that I do not want those types of people reading my blog, just as I do not want to read theirs. I hope that in some way you enjoy what I write. (or what you read) If I have left a comment on your blog, it is because I thought there was something special about what you had to say.

The Edward

PS Yeah, you can tell by the sentence structure, the tone, and the topic that it is way late for me. Surprising since I haven't even been up for 12 hours yet. I just want to let you know, we are all the same. And we are all strangers here. We do not belong, which is the bond that makes us all the same. And strangers. Here.

Finger in the ass

I was watching Family Guy last week. Funny as usual, but it also dealt with a topic which is a very serious health concern for men: finger in the ass. Peter went to the doctor for some random reason, and while there the doctor told him he needed a prostate examination. He was skeptically, but followed the doctors directions of disrobing and bending over the table. Then the doctor, using the current medically approved means of checking a prostate, stuck his finger in Peter's ass. Peter felt sexually violated by this act. But why?

Why is a finger in the ass a sexual thing? Is a finger in the mouth? In the ear? In the vagina? Why? The finger can not easily be used to procreate (would require a lot of manipulation and transferring of fluids), so I do not believe it is considered a sexual organ. When I whip out my fingers to use a pencil at work, I've never heard a gasp from anyone. Or when I used my fingers at the table to eat, people haven't left the table in disgust. I do not think I have ever seen a picture of only a finger and thought it was porn.

So, maybe it is the ass part of this equation that is sexual. So, when one goes to the bathroom to deposit yesterday's lunch, do people think that that is a sexual act? Once someone takes a shit, are they are no longer a virgin? Ass seems to perform a set of bodily functions, none of which are involved in the act of procreation in humans.

My question still stands, why would someone feel that a finger in the ass is a sexual act, even if it is preceded by "Don't worry, I'm a doctor"? I'm not sure why, but it definitely feels that way. Is it inborn, or social? Would someone from a different culture say "Finger in the ass as sexual? You are mad! That is how we greet each other in my country. And why we do not shake hands."? Or maybe it is the combination, "finger" and/or "ass" = nothing, but "finger and ass" = sexual. Just like peanut butter and chocolate = Reese's = goodness!

I have a much longer train of thoughts on this, which I will explore in the next few days: "How does a sexual act become non-sexual when a doctor is involved?" "Any act that you can no longer claim "I'm still a virgin" after is a sexual act." and of course "What does it mean to be a virgin?" Here is a taste of the future: If a women goes on a date with a guy and he gets a couple of fingers into her vagina, is she still a virgin? What if she goes to a doctor and he needs to slip a few digits in there, would she still be a virgin?

The Edward

PS I did something stupid. There was this link on blogger that said "Click me, and I will make all of your dreams come true! We will convert your account and blog over to our new beta blogger, and we will give you more features than you can shake a stick at!" So, I did. And now that shaking stick has screwed me. I guess the feature I was really looking for in a blog is the inability to post comments to other people's blogs, which is a feature for me now that I am "beta"! They have a work around though: post all comments to non-beta blogs as anonymous! Very nice. Google seems to really know what users want! It also used to be too easy to log in to my blog: I would just go to blogger.com, and I was in and blogging. They fixed that right up, so now I need to log into my Google account each time I want to visit blogger, because it doesn't really remember people any more! Sweet! They have mastered inconveniencing users in two ways with just one button click: longer to log in, and the inability to post! And they will not let me switch my account back! I'd hate to see a company that didn't have a motto of "Do no evil"!

Summary: Do Not Click The Shiny Red Button! Avoid switching your account for the new features! Sure, it would make it easier on me, because I could then post on your blog, but it would be very bad for you. As it stands now, I do not even know if people can post to my blog! Thanks Google!