Experiments
This ia post I was working from a year and a half ago. Oh how my style has changed. Oh how much of a wimp I have become always taking the safe route in my posts. Oh how much I used to talk about pussy and try to fit in as many naughty words as I could just to prove to people that I actually do "swear". Oh how this post, in its unedited form from 10/28/2007, will seem confusing, since the topic thread that it was a continuation of, is so long dead. Still, should be fun to see the reaction! Mine and yours! :) So, here you go, a gift from the past:
As most recently stated, I think of "want" to be equivalent of rape or stealing. If what I stated about myself is true (ie not wanting anything), how do I live, you might ask? Experiments!
It is all a matter of ownership. That pussy you want to fuck belongs to someone. That money you want in your bank account is already in someone else's. If they do not willingly give it to you, and you want it, then you either want to rape it or steal it. Just like the Vikings! :)
Without attachments to the results is a Zen like way to live. And if one isn't attached to the results, there are many things one can do. Say you meet someone and you wonder what it would be like to fuck him or her. (I'll stick with her for now, based on my bias.) You could pursue her in hopes that she will willingly fuck you at some point, a valid strategy to alleviate the want. And once you know her, you might realize that you do not want her, that you spent all of that time and money only to find out that she isn't really what you want. What a waste. Which is why people sit in the background and want. With wanting, she is the ideal woman, no flaws, no conflict, just pure perfection. I think this is what leads people to actually commit rape, they want that person just as she is now in their minds, and if they become involved, she will be just a common person like everyone else. Just a guess since I have never met a real rapist luckily.
Another option is the Zen option. You see her and you see a lot of other women. You think it would interesting in a general sense to have sex. So, you set things in place, keywords here and there, chance meetings, etc, whatever you think will make a good experiment. Then you let the experiment run and see what happens. You do not care whether you fuck her or someone else or no one, because you do not want anything that anyone else has. You are curious to see what others will give you.
A simple example: you say to someone, "I haven't had sex in a while, want to go for it?" If someone says yes, then you have learned something. You do not want something from that person, you are just seeing what is being offered.
Experiments. Try to live life like one. Be the passive observer. Set up the experiment, but do not be attached to the results. This paragraph I am writing now, 1.5 years after the above text. It is my summary of what I was trying to say back then. Interesting, at least to me, on how I never actually got to that point in the monologue. Interesting also is that I cringe while reading it, even though I still think it is funny/interesting. And yet... how much of what I post is a lie, from then and now... oh how much...
The Edward
