The Consuming Darkness

I have a dream. Well, actually, I had a dream. But not just any old dream, no sirree bob. This was a special dream. Let me tell you about it before I get to my topic.

I was in a house at a party. Suddenly, it all went dark. People started to wonder off, and as people got further away from each other, their sounds were lost. Each person, trapped in a darkness that was absorbing sounds relative distance. I saw a light on downstairs and made my way to it. The darkness was overwhelming the light. I called out to someone, someone was nearby. I told whomever it was to meet me at the light before it was gone. As sound and sight faded, I woke up saying these words over and over "The consuming darkness."

This dream helped me out with a blog post I had been struggling with. Sure, there was a lot more to the dream that I left out, things too horrifying to mention as well as irrelevant the problem at hand. At issue was an ad I saw on TV for a razor that never needed sharpening! Never! That was their claim. I was intrigued. Their statements were so obviously lies, I just couldn't believe that they could say such things on TV with a straight face. It was some blend of steel, which gave it this property of unending sharpness. Such crap.

After being so annoyed by that ad that I couldn't speak, I thought what they really needed was a razor made of something more substantial. Something that didn't interact with matter in such a way that would cause dulling (oxidization is a key factor in razors going dull, which is why if you put mineral oil on the blades after each use, they will last a lot longer). Then the idea hit me: dark matter! But what to call it? How to advertise it?

The latest invention from your friends at Arcane Lab: Consuming Darkness. A blade so sharp that it literally sucks the hair off your skin. Made off 100% dark matter, so you know that it's good. A blade of this magnitude will never dull, and better yet, it doesn't interact with light, so you can take your blade wherever you go, discreetly. Make this the last razor you will ever buy. Consuming Darkness, another groundbreaking invention from the people at Arcane Lab. "We see the future better than you."

The Edward