Seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade

Not just pretty words. I know we're all concerned about the environment. So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires. Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die? Oh, no. He lives.

Well, now that that is out of the way, Hello. And welcome to another edition of Movie Quotes. Tonight's quotes were brought to you courtesy of that lovable 1993 movie, Addams Family Values. Enjoy the hijinx of love slaves and summer camp. See people roped and bound for the pleasure of the viewing audience. Laugh at the death of a family member. And most importantly, hear the quotes that are quotable, and of course repeat them throughout the day tomorrow so that way people who have not yet seen the movie can enjoy the highlights of the movie with you.

Your friends will burst out laughing, as shown in these example:

Biff: Hey there friend, how was your weekend? Do anything new or exciting?
You: Do you know what happens if my mother uses a fabric softener?
Biff: Uh, no?
You: I die.
Biff and You laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

Biff: I just finished this report and I'm going to present it to the big cheese. Give me your honest opinion.
You: Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities.
Biff and You laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

You, alone in a room: ...look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them.
You laugh and laugh and laugh, never leaving the quiet safety of that room again. Thanks Addams Family!

The Edward

Fox News Lies

Well, there you have it. I can not believe it. I was watching Fox News at someones house very recently and I was shocked! I know, people have been telling me for years that Fox News lies. I never really paid much attention to those claims, until now...

They had a breaking news story. Coming up next, Area 51! The story was to be about alien spacecraft told by people who worked at Area 51. They planned to spill their guts and I was going to watch it all happen live! But then they brought out the two guys who proceeded to tell lie after lie about how there were no alien crafts there and how everything that the public saw in the night skies were really supersonic refueling ships that they have invented/developed. The bold lies they told!

After this, I knew the truth, Fox News really is full of lies. I must doubt every story that they air because I disagreed with one of them. Everything must be biased! How sad. :( But, I guess all of those people who have been telling me this for years must be right - I apologize for doubting you! They used point to one or two stories that they thought were wrong, even though they weren't personally there, and then make the claim that all of the other stories must be false as well. Shocking.

Though, now that I think about it, I've actually been at the site of news stories before... and then saw it on tv or in the paper or in a magazine... and in each of those cases, they were wrong. Maybe all news is biased? Maybe all news is pumped up to sell more ads? Maybe they target the news at their audiences?... Nah, if that were the case, then Fox News wouldn't have aired that Area 51 piece, would they? Unless...

The Edward

Superbowl Sunday - what a bust

Well, this is the first Superbowl that I have missed in 20-ish years. But I could tell by the silence that nothing happened.

See, I've been watching it all of these years, but for a different reason. Some people watch it for the commercials, which I also do enjoy seeing. Some people are big sports fans and love the game - I somewhat enjoy the game, sometimes. But for me, I watch it every year for the same reason that I watch the Olympics. And pretty much the same reason I watch parades, inaugurations, or any other world-wide event that gathers huge crowds and huge TV audiences. Aliens.

See, if they wanted to land and not have to hunt down every human one by one and tell them that they are here and that everything is going to be fine now that our Space Brothers have returned, that would too long so they would have a better way. A more logical and efficient means to this spreading this information is to do it where and when all of the humans have focused their attention. So I watch these human events with a passive eye, hoping that each new event will final result in the Big Reveal.

Back when I used to listen to Art Bell every night for almost a decade, I realized something. I asked myself, "If aliens landed while Art was off the air and I was asleep, how would I find out? What would be different?" I came to believe that I would wake up to a new world, but one probably in chaos. So, if I woke up to silence rather than the sounds of people screaming in the streets, then another non-alien night had passed. The same thing happened this past weekend, based on the absence of sound only.

The Edward

PS I hope this finally explains why, after all of these years, I still do not know the rules of football...

Still More with the Blind?

Fear not! All is not lost! This blog will not turn into a Land of the Blind blog! This is probably the final set of thoughts on this topic for a while!

Also, fear not! For all is not lost! This sighted person in the land of the blind would have things to do - ways to entertain himself! Let me use an analogy to explain.

When adults are around kids, they can do things like "I got your nose" and "Show me on this doll" - things that kids wouldn't understand how it works, but you as an adult would. One could hide things from them, trick them with easy subterfuge, do stupid things to make them laugh, etc. Kind of like a movie that is good for both kids and adults - there are things that the kids get out of it and a different level to the dialog that only adults would understand.

A sighted person could do similar things - he could become a trickster, gaining some measure of happiness from playing games with those around him. He would treat them as adults treat children in our society. Not in a cruel way, just in a way that allows him to fit in, to be the joker of the group, maybe?

In writing all of this, I realized that this is what the gods of old must have been like. The idea being that they had access to information beyond the mortal keen, so the things that they did made no sense to the humans, but perfect sense to other gods. Gods like Loki, who was considered a trickster god. Was he just a bored lonely god who played with humans in ways that they couldn't understand but would make perfect sense if one had his god-like abilities? Food for thought, but I guess none of us humans will ever know.

The Edward

Domain Specific Knowledge in the Land of the Blind

Not to seem like I am picking on blind people, but consider this more of belaboring a point - a point made in the previous post (or next depending on the order in which you are reading these). Let's add another quote to the mix "If you are so smart, why aren't you rich?!" The point of this quote is the same as that of the other, if you have something that others lack, you should be able to use that ability to rise above your fellow man. I bet you thought that those quotes were talking about different things, didn't you? Go on, admit it, no one else will hear you. I'll wait for you... There, don't you feel better now...

Let's look at a doctor in the land of the blind. He would have tools that allowed surgery based on sounds. They would be fine and dandy tools, highly optimized for the senses of the people of that world. Yet, we throw a sighted person into the mix - what would that do? He could see things that the doctor might miss, due to the limited scope of the world. Could this sighted person perform the surgery? No, he wouldn't have the specific knowledge of the surgeon, but he could know things that were beyond what the doctor could ever know. Would the doctor stop what he was doing because of this madman's ravings that something isn't right, something that the doctor can not sense? Probably not.

What am I saying? Even being sighted in the land of the blind, unless he learns knowledge specific to tasks, he would be limited to knowing that things are not right, but not be able to fix them. One has to have the knowledge in order to make changes. He could see the problems, he just couldn't fix them, therefore people probably wouldn't listen to him. He would seem like an endless whiner "Why did you do it that way? It was obviously going to fail because of this thing here? I can't tell you how I know there is something there that you can not hear, but trust me, it failed because of that. I can not tell you how to do it right so as to avoid that thing there - you have to trust me and use your knowledge to avoid the obstacles that I am pointing out to you. Yes, you are the expert in the this field, and yes no one else in this world knows why this always fails, but I am telling you I know why." Sad, isn't it.... my ability to write convincing dialog sounds more like ramblings, but I hope you get the point. What was the point again...

Ah yes, the point. In the land of the blind, the one eyed man would be king. And in a land of idiots, the smart people would be rich. And in the land of blogs, this post is finished.

The Edward

Land of the Blind, Home of the...

"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man would be king" If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that and thought "If only they knew..."... Well, there will be no further excuses, for now I will tell you, so then you will know, without all of those ellipsis...

Imagine, if you will, in a world where everyone was blind, what would life be like for these people in this world? People would know where others were by the noises that they made. People who wanted to practice subterfuge would be able to cast sounds, to make it sound like they were somewhere else. "I couldn't have done it officer, everyone could plainly hear that I was over there." How about plays and other forms of entertainment? Actors would be all over the stage, but yet it would be how they threw their voices to give the illusion (what is the word for a sound illusion?) of being other places on the stage, and make sounds to make the audience believe something else was happening. Special Effects in "movies" would be cool sound distortions. Etc.

Now, imagine if you will, a person with sight being born into this world. He would know that he could sense things that others couldn't, but he couldn't describe them to anyone else. There would be no words for what he senses, so how could he find others like himself? "But" you say, "why would he want to, the quote says that he would be King! To rule over others! Bwah, ha ha!" Let's put that aside for a moment.

What would the aforementioned world be like to this person born unto the sightless? People of lesser character would cozy up to him and try to rob or trick him. They would make it sound like they were far away, yet he could see them right there next to him. What could he do? "Everyone else in the world knows that you are way over there by the sounds that you are making, and yet I know it not to be true. I can see you stabbing me in the back!" All the felon would have to do is say "You are mad! I am way over here. I have witnesses." as he continues to assault this poor sighted fellow. Even the minor deceits that friends, family, and common folk do to keep privacy, etc, would be transparent to him, yet there would be nothing he could do or say about it.

What about plays and movies and such? Surely this god amongst blind men would have some solace in the venue of the arts! But he would be able to perceive more than everyone else, he could see the fakery so clearly, in ways that sound-only couldn't convey. He would see that the people are not were they sound to be. He would know that he is supposed to believe certain things are happening on stage or in the movie based on what he learned through socialization, but he couldn't easily ignore the input from his eyes without going mad, now could he? The blinds' plays would seem hollow and meaningless to him.

So, this sighted man could be King. But could he? He wouldn't understand most of what is going on around him, since he would have to figure out what others knew based on their limited senses, then try to talk as if that were real. He wouldn't enjoy any of the entertainment. He would see all of things that decent people keep to themselves. Indeed, if he wanted to, he could probably keep part of himself shutoff when dealing with others, though use the extra information to become King, but why? Why would he want to rule people he has nothing in common with? People who would argue every lest detail of his decisions because they couldn't see what he sees? And beyond that, what could these people offer him?

Would he want to marry one of their kind? Who would take someone so obviously mad? And if he found someone, he could never share the sights and wonders on his world with her - a life with someone he loved would be endlessly frustrating to both people. So, his only hope would be to rise to a comfortable position in the world, a place where he could cast his visual net out far enough in hopes of one day meeting others like him, but with no real way to really achieve that goal. He would have to watch everyone, see if anyone does something inconsistent with being blind. He would also have to do things, subtle things that the blind wouldn't notice, but something that he hopes another sighted people would see. He would have to fit in, while still being slightly out of sync in ways that he hopes would be obvious to another sighted person. Can you imagine his life like that? Can you still believe that the sighted man in the land of the blind would be a good thing, something that one would want for oneself or a loved one? The loneliness with the constant soul crushing hope of discovery? Bwah, ha, ha, indeed!

Next time you hear that tired old phrase, remember my words, and know that the above is what I think every time I hear them. The phrase actually is saying that people envy those who have something that they do not themselves have, but it doesn't take into account that a different life has different troubles. Sure, someone might have more of something than you have, but they can not enjoy life in the same way that you can.

Enjoy!

The Edward

Enough with the delays!

I've been hearing it for months now "The Edward, what happened? We hung on your every word. Your blog posts were like manna from Heaven. Please nourish us in thought and in deed." Indeed, but even manna from Heaven was bitched about after many months and years of nothing else. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Two pigs in a poke. Etc.

Actually, I started to believe that I wasn't doing myself and my audience justice! I would see or hear things throughout the day, and I would say to myself, "Shit, man, that is some whacked shit, I should write about that shit", though without all of that shit. But by the time the day has worn on, and I would settle down for a good, hard writing session, I found that I could no longer remember the fine details nor clever twists of ideas that my fine readers have come to expect. So, I would write a bit, try to recall the details, and put fingers to keys in what I hoped was a meaningful manner.

I saw what I was writing, and though it still made me chuckle a bit, it wasn't the same as some of my other writings that I enjoyed so much. I did not feel that I was always getting the point across in the manner I was hoping for. So, I did what any red blooded American would do - I stopped doing it in hopes that it would get better. Now I see like a virgin on his wedding night that I was doing it all wrong! I should have been writing more, honing my skills like a two edged blade, but one with enough space left to get a good grip on it so that I could use it without cutting myself.

So, even though the topic of this blog site is My View of Your World, I guess this one fails yet again in that mission, yet I hope it is more of a Me Too kind of post - one that, while it lends no information to the mix, says "Hey world, look at me. Yeah, I have nothing to say right this instance, but rest assured, more of the same is on the way!"

Here's a cold hearty glass of boldness to more of the same. Cheers.

-The Edward